


Caffetamine

by determinant



Category: South Park
Genre: (at least by american standards), Autism, Drug Use, M/M, Mentions of Clyde/Bebe, Mentions of Stan/Wendy, Slow Burn, Swearing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/determinant/pseuds/determinant
Summary: Tweek has a secret, Craig holds a grudge.Tweek comes back to Craig's life after a year of silence. Craig has to endure bed sharing, parties, and court dates to get to the bottom of Tweek's coffee shop murder mystery.





	1. Salesman

**Author's Note:**

> Formerly titled Permanent Dent. Some revision has been done.

“Who the fuck’s been trying to call me?” Craig stared at his phone screen. 3 missed calls. He hadn’t applied for any jobs, or left any call requests anywhere. There was no reason for someone to call him. “You recognize this?” He shoved the phone in front of Clyde, who was sitting next to him on the couch.

“Could be the IRS,” Clyde said, not taking his eyes away from the TV. Craig nudged Clyde’s shoulder with the phone. Clyde spared a short look, and frowned at the numbers. “No idea who that is. Probably some salesman.”

“Hmm, I guess,” Craig said, and put his phone back in his pocket. He’d deal with it later, if ever. Right now, he didn’t want to listen to any sales pitches. Having the TV as background noise was preferable. It relaxed him to the point of nodding off, but Clyde’s occasional cheers when someone scored a goal kept him from falling asleep. Right as he was about to head to bed, he heard a loud bang at the front door.

“What’s up,” Kenny greeted. Clyde greeted him back with a grunt, not taking his attention away from the game on TV. Craig craned his neck to see their elusive roommate. The last time he had seen Kenny was yesterday evening, when he had left for work. Kenny’s hair was a horrible mess, his face was covered in sweat, and his eyes looked sunken in. He hung up his coat like it was made of lead, and Craig wondered how he was still standing. When Kenny kneeled down to take off his shoes, his cat appeared from wherever she’d been sleeping to greet him with her tail pointing straight up. “Hi, Puff. Did’ya miss me?” he asked the cat, petting her neck.

“Save any lives today?” Craig asked. So far, the answer had always been no. Kenny laughed, and shook his head. Craig couldn’t tell if he was being humble or just had bad luck with his calls. Or good luck, depending on how you look at it.

Kenny walked past the two other boys and disappeared into the bathroom. There was a sound of clothes shuffling and of the shower turning on. That was a good sign. Usually Kenny just passed out after a rough shift, with his shoes and coat still on. Craig turned back to the TV in time to see the transition to a commercial break. That’s fine, he was never into sports like Clyde and, to a lesser extent, Token.

Back when Token still lived with Craig and Clyde in Denver, before he moved to New Jersey five months ago, the three of them would stay up and watch whatever they wanted, fully utilizing their newfound freedom. They’d play games on Token’s PS4, watch movies, or just hang out and talk. Sometimes Bebe or Jimmy would be with them, sometimes it was Kenny, who would sleep on the couch for a few days before heading off again.

During those days, Craig could barely take a step without bumping into someone. They had planned on moving to a bigger place, but that dream was crushed the day Token got his acceptance letter. Kenny’s visits became more frequent after Token moved away, and before they noticed, Kenny had moved into Token’s old room. A sudden text tune snapped Craig from his reminiscing.

“Oh shit, Token said yes!” Clyde jumped up and made an exaggerated fist pump, almost dropping his phone in the process.

“When’s the wedding?”

Clyde rolled his eyes, but played along. “This weekend. You know, we could invite Jimmy too, like old times. Maybe Bebe and some other guys.”

Craig raised his eyebrows. “You’re inviting your ex-girlfriend to your gay wedding? Harsh.”

Clyde laughed. “Fuck off. Token’s out of my league anyway.” He faked a wistful sigh and sat back down. He started typing something on his phone. He’d better not be texting Bebe. The texts always ended up clingy and embarrassing, and Bebe would spend half an hour telling Craig about how some people just can’t let go. Almost as if he sensed Craig’s thoughts, Clyde turned to him and said, “Hey, maybe _you_ could ask Bebe if she’d hang on Saturday.”

This wasn’t going to end well. “No.”

“Come on, she’d come if you ask,” Clyde said, trying to sound casual. Experience dictated that this same casual pleading would repeat until Craig yielded. That had to be future-Craig’s problem.

“I’m tired. Good night,” he said, and headed to bed. He paid no mind to Clyde’s protests and entered his small room. Just as Craig had closed the door behind him, his phone started ringing. He fumbled with his pocket, and pulled out his phone. He frowned. It looked like the same number as before. Whoever it was must’ve been desperate to call him so close to midnight. He could’ve ignored it and gone to bed, but he answered the call.

 “Hello?” he said, mentally preparing to tell an invasive salesman that he wasn’t interested in a subscription of pointless-shit-for-dumbasses magazine.

“Craig?” The small voice was nearly drowned out by the sound of wind in the background. Craig couldn’t for the life of him recognize who it was. It didn’t seem like a salesman. He should’ve just gone to sleep after all.

“Uh… Who is this?”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” He had heard that voice before. “Is this the wrong number? I’m trying to reach Craig Tucker.”

“…Tweek?” Craig was close to hanging up and not dealing with this. “Why are you calling me?”

“Craig? Okay, listen… I know it’s late, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Tweek said. His voice sounded hoarse. “I have a small problem.”

“So?”

“Oh, I… Well, I was hoping you could help me,” Tweek said, hesitating for a moment. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

Craig sat down on his bed. He covered his face with one hand and sighed. What trouble could Tweek possibly want to bring after over a year of no contact. Craig liked waking up and knowing exactly what was going to happen during the day, no excitement necessary. “I’m not promising anything.”

“That’s fair, I guess,” Tweek said. “I was just wondering… Do you and the others still live in Denver?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Craig furrowed his brows. Something must’ve happened. Moving to Denver was the main reason nobody had heard much about Tweek for such a long time. “I still live with Clyde.”

“What about Token?”

“He got into Princeton.”

“Really? So… you have an empty room?” Tweek chuckled, but failed to cover up his nervousness. Craig frowned. Tweek had been the first person Craig offered to room up with, but was met with rejection, since Tweek would rather spend all day working in a coffee house, drinking his dad’s shitty coffee.

“What’s that to you?” Craig asked. He was met with a brief silence, before Tweek answered.

“I’m coming to Denver,” Tweek said. “The bus gets there at eleven AM tomorrow and I need a place to stay.”

“Why?” Craig asked. The question lingered in the air for far too long. Craig could hear the small inhales as Tweek almost started a sentence but stopped before saying a word. The wind was still whistling, sharp and relentless. Tweek kept struggling for words. The silence was becoming too much. Craig cleared his throat, and said, “I won’t tell anyone if it’s something bad.”

He heard an exhale on the other end of the line. “I might be a bit… homeless.”

Craig froze up. He was probably the worst person on whom to drop bombs like this. Bebe liked to remind him of that ever since she had called him for the third time the same day about wanting to break up with Clyde and Craig just hung up. Apparently, he had been rude.

“That’s…” Craig scanned his brain for the most sympathetic and considerate word he could possibly use in this situation. “…bad?”

Tweek let out a laugh. “Yeah, it is.” A car honked in the background. Craig imagined Tweek sitting on the curb in some dirty alley, covered in a tattered blanket. Maybe he had a mange-ridden homeless dog sleeping in his lap too. He snapped away from his mental image when Tweek sighed. “I really need help, Craig.”

If they had moved to a bigger apartment, they could offer a place to stay. If Kenny hadn’t taken over Token’s place, they’d have a room available. If Tweek had just come with them in the first place, there’d be no problem. But he hadn’t. “Sorry, we don’t have space.”

“Oh.”

That small voice was like a homing missile aiming for Craig’s heart. A very accurate one. Clyde would probably agree to help in an instant, and Kenny wouldn’t care, since he had barely even been home recently. Craig straightened his back. No, it just wasn’t possible. He didn’t owe anything to Tweek. Not after being ignored for so long.

“It’s because of Kenny,” Craig tried to explain. “He moved in.”

“It’s okay, Craig,” Tweek said. It didn’t seem okay. It was like a parent saying they were disappointed, not mad. This whole phone call was a disaster. The only way out of this hole was to dig even further down. Better to cut losses.

“It’s getting late, so… uh… bye?” Craig could feel Tweek glaring at him from miles away. A beeping tone rang in his ear, and he looked at his phone. Tweek had hung up. Craig cursed at his phone as he set it down on his desk.

There wasn’t going to be much sleep tonight.


	2. Bus Stop

He had been right. The night was mostly spent imagining what could’ve made Tweek get kicked out of his parent’s place. Maybe he wasn’t kicked out. Maybe his parents were killed in a freak accident. While buttering up some bread as breakfast, Craig came up with increasingly bizarre ways for how Tweek ended up homeless.

“Rough night?” Kenny appeared out of nowhere.

“Fuck!” Craig almost swung his butter knife into his own face. He glared at Kenny. “Don’t sneak up on me, asshole.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Kenny said. Craig put the butter away and walked to sit on the couch and eat his plain buttered bread. Kenny followed, and lounged down with his legs in Craig’s lap. “So, what’s bothering you?”

Kenny wasn’t the type to gossip or judge. He could poke fun and tease, but always stopped seconds before it went too far. If Craig told him about the phone call, he’d understand. At least that’s what Craig chose to believe.

“Tweek called,” Craig revealed, and examined Kenny’s face for a reaction while eating his bread. He didn’t get one. “He’s coming to Denver today,” Craig continued, “and he wanted to stay with us.”

Kenny raised an eyebrow. “When’s he coming?”

“I said no.”

“Of course,” Kenny muttered and shook his head. “Classic Tucker.”

“Shouldn’t you be going to work?” Craig asked. He shoved Kenny’s legs away as he got up and swallowed the last bite of his bread, not feeling any less hungry than he did five minutes ago.

“I’ve got some days off now.” Kenny grinned, and stretched his whole body on the couch. “That’s the best part with 24-hour-shifts.”

Craig pulled his jacket on. He opened his mouth to ask for a ride from Kenny, but closed it before saying a word. The idea of being with someone as curious as Kenny in a small, enclosed space didn’t seem like a good idea. He’d rather be a few minutes late. He swung his backpack on and mumbled his goodbyes. Kenny gave a short wave in return.

The walk to school felt like a walk of shame. The rain dampened his clothes and messed his hair. By the time he entered the lecture hall, he was shivering and soaking wet. His classmates were giving him looks. He fought hard to repress the urge to flip them all off. He sunk down to a chair as far away from others as possible. He glanced at the whiteboard, but it might as well have been gibberish.

Craig scribbled in his notebook to a least have a facade of productivity. He drew a bus speeding on a highway and, after contemplating for a while, drew it on fire. Tweek had been very vague during their phone call. Most of his stories were spiced with dramatics, but not this time. Just like when Tweek had left with his family to make coffee in a more prosperous town. Craig furrowed his brows, and colored the bus in the darkest black his pencil could produce.

When the tip of his pencil broke, he huffed, and placed it on his notebook. He sat up straight. Maybe if he pretended to be attentive, he’d start learning. Tweek always had his hands on his knees when he was focusing hard. There would also be a sharp look in his eyes. Craig gripped his knees and squinted at the professor. It didn’t work.

Craig glanced at the clock. He had only been in class for ten minutes. Everyone else seemed captivated by the lecture, but Craig was tapping his foot in a sporadic rhythm, his eyes darting for the exit. The professor’s voice was fingers on a chalkboard. Craig bit his cheek. Didn’t Tweek say his bus would arrive at eleven? That was forty minutes from now. Craig looked at his drawing of the black, burning bus.

_Fuck it_. He gathered his stuff and started walking towards the door. He tried to seem like he had some good reason to leave. It must’ve worked, since nobody asked him anything when he snuck to the hallway. He stood for a moment. The bus stop was too far to walk to in bad weather. He’d need a ride from Kenny after all.

He could still turn back. He could pretend he had only gone to the bathroom, and sit back down like everything was normal. He could, but his legs wouldn’t. They were making their way back home, dragging the rest of Craig’s body with them. The rain poured down on him, soaking him right after he had started getting dry again. Craig stood behind the door of their apartment for a while, before he could make himself open the it. He was greeted by Kenny’s confused face.

“Craig?” Kenny paused the game he was playing. “You look like shit.”

“I need you to drive me somewhere,” Craig said. He glanced at himself in the hallway mirror. Kenny was right. He looked like a drowned dog. His hair was stuck to his face and his stubble was starting get too long. He shed his wet coat and headed to his room to find a comb. If he was going to see Tweek again, he couldn’t look like the mess he was. He combed his hair, and Kenny leaned against the door.

“We’re picking up Tweek, aren’t we?”

Fuck Kenny’s perceptiveness. Craig ignored the question and went to find dry clothes. He settled on a dark blue letterman-style hoodie. Maybe he should change his sweatpants as well. He dug around in his pants drawer for something dry, clean, and without holes. He settled on a simple pair of jeans. Just as he began pulling down his pants, he heard Kenny chuckle.

“Dressing fancy, huh?” Kenny was eyeing Craig up. “Didn’t know it was such a formal bus stop.”

“Shut up,” Craig said.

“Ooh, defensive,” Kenny cooed, smirking in his trademark way, like he always did when he had discovered some Freudian subconscious desire in someone. Not that it had ever happened to Craig. Kenny tried to continue, but Craig shut him down.

“Shut up. Let’s go.”

Kenny’s car was ugly and unreliable, but it was the best they had. Craig slumped down on the shotgun seat, and looked out the window as Kenny tried to start the car. He put his seatbelt on at Kenny’s request. Craig kept his eyes on the road, trying his best to keep the silence, but he could feel Kenny’s curiosity burn a hole in his skull. He decided to fiddle with his phone, trying to signal a disinterest in conversation, but Kenny didn’t play along.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked.

Why couldn’t Clyde have a car instead? He’d respect the silence. Craig looked out of the car window again. The rain had gotten worse, and most people had umbrellas, which the wind would blow away. There wasn’t much traffic at this time of the day. They might be at the bus stop on time. He shrugged, and said, “He hung up on me.”

Kenny spared a glance at Craig, who felt like he was in a line-up being judged for his crimes. No words were spoken, but Craig saw a conclusion forming in his friend’s eyes. Craig fell back to his phone-fiddling strategy, which was successful this time. They continued their trip in silence.

Kenny parked the car close to the bus stop just a few minutes before the scheduled arrival. However, now that they were so close to seeing Tweek, Craig found that his body wouldn’t move from the seat. Perhaps it wasn’t too late to turn back.

“Come on,” Kenny said as he got out of the car. Craig glanced toward the bus stop a few feet away. There were some people loitering around, barely covered by the small shelter. They were all dripping wet. Kenny leaned in the driver’s side door, and said, “It won’t be so bad.”

“But he’s gonna be pissed at me,” Craig said, sounding more pathetic than he would’ve liked to.

“Relax, I’ve got your back.” Kenny smiled. “He won’t be mad anyway.”

Craig rolled his eyes. Kenny tended to think the best of people, even when it was completely unfounded. If anything, Tweek gave Craig a harder time than most people. At best, the encounter would be survivable. Kenny gestured his head toward the bus stop and raised his eyebrows in a silent question. Craig sighed, and got out of the car.

The bus was late. Every passing second made Craig twitch in his place slightly more. Kenny’s hand around his shoulder didn’t feel comforting at all. He kept swaying from one foot to another. The road stretched far, but no bus could be seen. Had he remembered the time wrong? Maybe they were at the wrong bus stop.

He had checked the clock a hundred times before the bus appeared. Suddenly all the restlessness was replaced with paralysis. He got chills each time a blonde person got off the bus. Just as he thought Tweek was a no-show, a familiar sleep-deprived face appeared.

He looked awful. All life had been sucked from his being. He was skinny and sunken in, like he had been living in a dungeon for a year. The backpack he had was bursting at the seams. His eyes seemed bigger than usual, accentuated by the bags beneath them. They were distant.

“Tweek!” Kenny lacked all subtlety. Tweek’s confused face turned to one of mild annoyance when he met Craig’s gaze. Craig looked away. Kenny started walking towards their old friend, and Craig found himself following.

“What are you guys doing here?” Tweek asked, without a hint of gratitude in voice. What a jerk. Craig knew he should’ve stayed in class. Kenny didn’t seem to notice the glaring rudeness, as he gave Tweek a short hug.

“We’re picking you up,” Kenny said. He looked to Craig, seeking some sort of approval. Craig didn’t know what to say, so he shrugged. Tweek looked him in the eyes, and it took all of Craig’s willpower not to look away.

“I thought you had no space,” he said, like Craig had somehow betrayed him.

There was no winning this. Craig could fight for a tie until he was bruised and bloody, or he could let Tweek have the victory. He hadn’t planned this at all. He had arrived at his destination completely blind, following his gut feeling.

“It’s just for one night,” Craig said. Kenny shoved his shoulder, but he continued, “You can be on the couch.”

“You were an asshole yesterday,” Tweek said. He tried to look angry, but his face betrayed him. He gripped his other arm like a blanket, and stared down to the ground. “I kinda needed… someone.”

“Look who’s talking,” Craig said despite himself. Tweek’s face hardened.

“You have no idea what— what I…" Tweek looked down to his fists, which were white at the knuckles. He looked back up to Craig. “You don’t know what happened,” Tweek said, voice cracking, and started walking away. Shit, this wasn’t going according to plan.

“Wait!” Craig caught up with Tweek, but when he grabbed Tweek’s arm and spun him around, he faltered. It was almost surreal. The image of Tweek in his head did not line up with the real person. In his head, Tweek was happy. He was successful. He chatted with his customers with a smile, flirting with ease, collected big checks at the end of the day, his dad patting his back with approval, surrounded by friends who admired him and laughed at his jokes, his smile not faltering even as he slept.

The Tweek in front of him was glaring, barely holding back angry tears. Tweek had always worn his heart on his sleeve, but Craig had never seen this level of raw emotion from him. His tired, green eyes seemed ten years older than the last time Craig had looked into them. All the pictures of a happy Tweek crumbled away.

“Tweek, I…” Craig paused. The weight of the tired eyes was becoming unbearable. He looked away. “Come with us.”

Tweek twitched underneath Craig’s grip. He shook the hand away, and said, “Only if you admit you’re an asshole.”

Unbelievable. Craig looked to Kenny, who did not appear sympathetic at all. Craig slumped his shoulders, and addressed the ground as he said, “I’m an asshole.”

Tweek’s triumphant smile was genuine in the worst way. For some reason, maybe out of habit or the sheer infectiousness of Tweek’s grin, Craig found himself smiling back, but he suppressed it as soon as he caught it.

Maybe having Tweek around wouldn’t be so bad.


	3. Memory Foam

Throughout the whole ride, Tweek had been reserved. Kenny’s attempts to ask the basic polite questions were dodged with short answers that revealed nothing. When they arrived at the apartment, Tweek requested to sleep somewhere and Kenny was quick to offer his bed. Tweek had been sleeping ever since.

Something about the way Tweek acted bothered Craig. When they used to hang out at a crowded mall, Tweek could navigate a crowd of people with finesse, never bumping into anyone or blocking someone else’s way, almost unnaturally aware of his surroundings. The way he would look at people seemed like he noticed every little detail about them. He would worry about things before Craig even considered that the thing might exist. He seemed to be a few steps ahead of everyone around him.

Now, Tweek was in a completely different world than everyone else. He wouldn’t look at most people, he looked through them. Craig had whispered his concerns to Kenny, who assured him Tweek wasn’t dying. They decided to let Tweek sleep and interrogate him later. They were sitting on the couch playing games with the volume turned off, Kenny’s cat sleeping soundly next to them, when the front door slammed open.

“Hey!” Clyde pierced the silence. Craig gasped, and jumped on his seat. Kenny cursed and glared at Clyde, holding his chest.

“You almost gave me a heart attack,” Kenny hissed. He looked to where the cat had just been sleeping. “And you scared Puff!”

“Okay… What’s with the silence?” Clyde asked, glancing around like he expected something to jump at him. Kenny looked at Craig. Craig mouthed a _what,_ and received a gesture that he interpreted as _tell him._ Craig conceded and turned to Clyde.

“Tweek’s sleeping.”

“What?” Clyde looked between Kenny and Craig, more confused with each passing second. He tilted his head. “Why’s he here? Are you—”

“He’s just visiting,” Craig interrupted. When Clyde wouldn’t stop staring, he added, “It’s only for one day.”

Clyde slumped his shoulders. “Why didn’t you guys tell me?” Craig avoided Clyde’s gaze. Kenny shrugged.

“Not my fault,” he said. “I found out three hours ago.”

Craig felt the pressure of his roommates’ eyes on him, wanting answers. He crossed his arms and said, “I don’t know. He needed a place to stay.”

Clyde considered for a second and nodded slowly. “I’d do it for Bebe, too.”

Craig was about to protest, when the door to Kenny’s room opened. The three of them turned in unison to face Tweek, who looked like a deer in headlights. His hair was messy and his clothes were crumpled up. He looked even more tired than before.

“Good nap?” Kenny asked.

“Uh… yeah.” Tweek looked around, slightly swaying in place. He met Clyde’s gaze, and gave a weak wave. Craig expected Clyde to be holding a grudge after Tweek’s disappearance, but Clyde wasn’t following the script.

Instead, Clyde extended his arms wide and rushed Tweek. He lifted his friend off the ground and squeezed him hard, eliciting a yelp. Clyde set Tweek back down and smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

Tweek smiled back. “Missed you too.”

Craig rolled his eyes. Everyone was so quick to forget. If Craig got some time alone with Tweek, he would demand answers. Everyone was being nice just because Tweek looked like a wounded baby deer. Or perhaps a small, twitchy bird. One of those that hop on both feet, and fly away when you get too close. Not a colorful bird. Something that looks beautiful in its simplicity, like a plain brown sparrow with ruffled feathers. Craig averted his eyes when Tweek glanced in his direction.

Tweek turned to Kenny and asked, “Can you drive me somewhere?”

“I should’ve become a chauffeur instead,” Kenny said and got up. “Where are we headed?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Tweek said, and beckoned Kenny to follow.

Craig crossed his arms. Just because Kenny had a car, he got to be the star of everything. The car wasn’t even nice. It was barely functional. Craig stood up and glared as Tweek and Kenny put on their shoes. They exchanged goodbyes, and the two exited the apartment. Craig and Clyde stood in silence for a few second, processing what had just happened.

“What the hell—” Clyde poked Craig on the ribs. “—was that about?”

“Hey!” Craig pushed Clyde’s hand away. Clyde looked at him sternly. “What?”

“Since when is Tweek in Denver?” Clyde asked, his tone almost accusing. “And why?”

“I was gonna ask him.”

Clyde groaned. “How can you keep so calm about everything? Where’s he even gonna sleep?” He gestured around him. “We don’t have extra beds.”

“The couch, I guess,” Craig said. Clyde made a face.

“The couch is too shitty,” he said, then lowered his voice slightly. “I think Tweek’s upset about something.”

“Isn’t he always,” Craig muttered. The couch was a bit shabby, to be fair. It was Token’s, like almost everything else in the apartment, and it had been nice when it was new. Now, it had had one too many drinks spilled on it, crumbs in all the crevices, and scratch marks on every spot Puff could get her claws on. It also had a slight slope, which made lying on it uncomfortable. “I’m not giving up my bed.”

“Well… me neither,” Clyde said. He glanced at Craig. “We’re dicks, aren’t we?”

Craig thought about it for a while. “Probably.”

They decided to search for a cover and pillow to give the couch a semblance of adequacy. Craig found a thin pillow and even thinner duvet, while Clyde provided the sheets and covers. This wasn’t the first time someone would sleep on their couch, but they had never bothered making it nice before. Something about Tweek’s aura made everyone tiptoe around him, like they were walking on broken glass.

“Did you text Bebe?”

Craig waited a second before answering to see if Kenny and Tweek would come back and bust him out, but he had no such luck. “I didn’t say I would.”

“But you owe me now,” Clyde claimed, with no basis on reality.

“For what?” Craig stopped shoving a pillow into its case to give Clyde a look. Clyde responded to the challenge by crossing his arms defiantly.

“For me letting Tweek stay here.”

“Come on,” Craig groaned, and returned to his pillow task. When Clyde said nothing, he continued, “You would’ve done that anyway.”

“That’s not relevant.” Clyde put the neatly folded cover down on the couch. “Besides, what’s a party without some chicks?”

“We’re not having a party,” Craig said. They had tried holding one in the early weeks of living in the apartment. There had been too many people, and Token had gotten upset about them wrecking his stuff. He and Craig swore to never have another party, but Clyde abstained. In fact, he had later held a housewarming part when Kenny officially moved in, despite objections.

“Just a tiny party,” Clyde pleaded. “It’ll be more like a reunion with Tweek being here.”

“Fine, but only six people,” Craig said. He paused for a moment. “And don’t let Kenny invite anyone.”

He had a feeling he would regret this later. The two finished setting the couch up for Tweek, and Clyde started making food, while Craig surfed the internet on his laptop. They left a generous amount of leftovers for Tweek and Kenny. As they waited for their friends’ return, the ambiance became increasingly uneasy. It was like entering a familiar room, where every piece of furniture had been moved slightly, and finding a stranger sleeping there. There was something about all this that made Craig shiver. Tweek’s presence had caused a small shift in the feeling of their apartment, rewriting the codes of conduct. It was small, but Craig felt it.

The sun had gone down by the time Tweek and Kenny came back. Clyde asked about their trip, but neither revealed what they had been up to. Even Kenny evaded all questions. Clyde heated up the rest of the food, which was devoured within minutes. Clyde sat with Tweek and asked him about the past year, but all of Tweek’s answers were vague and impersonal. Clyde didn’t pry further, as he was basking in the chance to talk about what he had learned while majoring in English. Kenny joined the conversation, and shared some of the strange occurrences he had witnessed as an EMT. When it came Craig’s turn to speak, he had nothing to share.

“Come on,” Clyde said, nudging Craig’s shoulder. “You’ve gotta have something you learned.”

“Not really,” Craig said. He learned enough to pass the tests, but nothing seemed to stick. Clyde and Kenny talked about their fields with such passion, but Craig couldn’t find it in him to do the same. He sometimes wondered if he would have enrolled if Clyde and Token hadn’t. The silence between them stretched. Clyde looked at him with cheerful anticipation and Craig didn’t have the heart to voice his uncertainty. “I learned some coding stuff.”

“What do you study?” Tweek asked. For the first time that day, his green eyes seemed focused and curious. Craig momentarily forgot the question.

“Uh… computer science,” he stammered. Tweek looked skeptical.

“I would’ve guessed some practical engineering stuff,” Tweek said, “or maybe film studies.”

Craig stared. Where had Tweek been when everyone was pressuring Craig into choosing a major? Craig’s parents had insisted that he choose something viable for the future and Clyde had suggested computer science. At the time, it had seemed like the easy way through life. Turns out the easy way was also very unsatisfying.

A silence fell on them. Craig had nothing to break the tension with. He didn’t have the charm that everyone else seemed to have. Clyde had his adorable sincerity, while Kenny had his sarcastic self-awareness. When the conversation didn’t get new wind, Kenny bailed. He wished good night to everyone and disappeared into his room. Clyde told Tweek it was nice to be reunited and followed suit. As the doors closed, an eerie stillness filled the air.

They were alone for the first time. Craig blinked, wondering how long he could postpone interacting with Tweek. Craig thought about just sneaking to his own room, but he quickly abandoned the plan as too callous, even for him. He turned around reluctantly. Tweek was sitting down on the couch, glum and passive, seeming like he had powered off. Craig could’ve said his good-nights and gone to bed, but he didn’t.

“So, are you—” Craig begun, but Tweek cut him off.

“Don’t,” Tweek said softly. He was looking down at the ground, slumped, completely spent. Seconds stretched, until he turned to look up at Craig. “Sorry, it’s just… I don’t wanna talk right now.”

Craig stood still. Was that a sign to leave or an invitation to comfort? Maybe Tweek was upset about how uncomfortable the couch was. Craig fiddled with his hoodie’s zipper. “You can sleep in my bed instead,” he said, quickly adding, “I mean… I’d sleep here, not with you.”

Tweek smirked. It wasn’t mean-spirited, but Craig cursed his choice of words anyway.

“Nah, I’m fine here,” Tweek said, and started unbuttoning his shirt. Underneath he had a tight black t-shirt, which showed how smooth his arms were. The short blonde hairs on them were barely visible, in contrast to Craig’s arms, which were covered in fine, dark hair. Tweek lay down on the couch. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Craig kept silent. There was a time when conversation between the two of them flowed without much pause. Craig had topics and questions in his head, but one look at Tweek made him step back. Craig had watched Clyde and Kenny grill Tweek about what was going on. If they got no answers, Craig wouldn’t either. There was nothing to gain.

“It’s weird seeing you again,” he said. Weird how it felt like almost no time had passed since they last saw. Weird how it wasn’t as weird as it should’ve been. Craig had kept telling himself there could be no return to their old ways, but he had to admit that nothing had changed. Craig had learned nothing, changed nothing, become nothing in all this time. He was like memory foam frozen in time, just waiting for Tweek to lie down again.

“I know,” Tweek hummed, his eyes closed. He was still mostly clothed, and his cover was pushed onto the ground. Craig didn’t move to leave, until Tweek said, “Sleep well.”

“Yeah,” Craig muttered. “You too.” He started walking towards his room, and tried to ignore the part of his brain that was telling him to look back before closing his door.

Tried, and failed.


	4. Hide the Body

When Craig came home from another uneventful day in college, nothing greeted him. He shed his coat and looked around. Tweek’s shoes were still there. Craig peeked in the kitchen. Empty. Clyde’s door was wide open, revealing clothes scattered on the floor, but no people. Craig creeped to his room and opened the door. Tweek’s wide eyes greeted him.

“Oh, hi.” Tweek was lying on the bed with Craig’s laptop. Craig had offered the use of his laptop as a courtesy, not expecting Tweek to accept it.

“You’re in my room.”

“Kenny said it’s okay,” Tweek said. Kenny had not consulted Craig about this. Tweek closed the laptop. “I thought you’d be home later.”

“Short day,” Craig lied. He had ditched his last classes. Tweek looked unconvinced.

“Sure,” he said, but didn’t push further. He looked at anything but Craig. “I’m gonna go… somewhere else.”

Tweek walked out of the room, and closed the door behind him. If it had been anyone else, Craig would cherish his privacy. Instead, he felt uneasy. Craig walked to the door and gripped the handle, but didn’t turn it. How could he help when he didn’t know what was wrong? This had never happened before. Craig couldn’t begin to guess what could be bad enough for Tweek to keep it a secret.

The front door clicked. Craig waited to hear Kenny or Clyde announce himself, his hand ready on the door handle, but it didn’t happen. Craig turned the handle just in time to see Tweek close the front door behind him.

“Tweek!” he yelled just a bit too late. He cursed as he dashed through the apartment, and slammed the front door wide open. “Tweek, what are you doing?”

Tweek stopped going down the stairs, and turned around. “Just taking a walk.”

“Hold on,” Craig said, and started pulling his shoes on. He took his jacket, and caught up with Tweek. “I’m coming too.”

“Why?” Tweek asked. He started walking down, and Craig followed.

“Well…” Craig thought for a moment. “You need a guide.”

“It’s just a walk, Craig.”

“I can show you around,” Craig said. He put his jacket on when they stepped outside. The cold wind stung Craig’s cheeks, and he clenched his jaw to stop his teeth from chattering. Tweek shivered. The ground was wet, with puddles scattered along the street. Water splashed under Tweek’s feet. Craig thought about where he could take Tweek. “There’s a coffee shop close by, if you wanna—”

“Don’t temp me,” Tweek said. The look in his eyes made Craig think of a starving dog. Tweek bit his lip. “I quit caffeine.”

“What? When?”

“Last week,” Tweek said. Craig studied Tweek’s hollow face. He had lost a lot of weight. The lack of caffeine could explain Tweek’s unusual demeanor.

“Is that why you’re being weird?” Craig asked. Tweek stayed silent for a moment, and the two kept walking without a destination.

“No,” Tweek said. “Well, maybe?”

“Then why?”

Tweek pulled at his shirt. “I don’t know if I should say.”

“I didn’t tell anyone about the homeless thing.” Craig looked at Tweek, who avoided looking back. “I won’t tell now either.”

Tweek picked up his pace. They walked up to a park, and Tweek pointed at a bench away from the main path.

“Can we sit there?”

Craig agreed, and they settled on the bench. The trees in the park were losing their orange leaves, which floated down gently in the calm weather. The shade of one tree covered Craig and Tweek, making the air feel even colder. Tweek was twitching in his place.

“Okay, so…” Tweek said, and gripped his knees. “Oh God, I don’t know where to start.”

“The first thing that comes to your mind.”

“Okay…” Tweek took a deep breath, and whispered, “Basically, it’s about meth.”

“Oh.”

Tweek looked away and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, a dealer was killed in my dad’s coffee shop.” Tweek lowered his head. “They won’t let us go to our home upstairs either.”

“Wow,” Craig said. He had expected something more light-hearted, like that Tweek had rebelled against his parents, or that their place was flooded. But, when meth was involved, it could’ve been a lot worse. It still didn’t explain why Tweek had come to Denver instead of going wherever his family was. “Where did your parents go?”

“Umm…” Tweek kept his eyes on the ground and fiddled with the sleeves on his shirt. “They’re dealing with it.”

“Relax, Tweek.” Craig shifted a bit closer. “You can tell me.”

“It’s fine.” Tweek’s voice was quiet. “I just need to sort some stuff out.”

Craig sighed. Somehow, it was easier to deal with Tweek when he was freaking out. “Why did you come to Denver?”

Tweek didn’t answer. He pulled on his sleeves, stretching them as far as they could go. Craig wanted to grab his hands before the shirt was ripped apart, but he didn’t. He stared forward. Tweek got up, and glanced in Craig’s general direction.

“I’m cold,” he said. “Let’s go back.”

Craig eyed Tweek. The wind was picking up, and it threw Tweek’s hair in his face. He was shivering. His nose and cheeks were pink, and the tips of his ears were starting to turn red. That’s what he gets for refusing to ever wear a hat. Craig got up.

The two walked in strained silence. Only rhythmic splashes of feet against the wet ground echoed against the tall buildings surrounding the street. The trees around them stood tall and dying, spreading their last leaves around, covering the street in streaks of orange and red. Tweek’s teeth chattered, and he clenched his jaw. His green jacket was more fitting for the spring, both in color as in warmth. The tall building loomed above them, and cars sped past, disrupting the calm stillness of the air. Craig thought back to his parent’s place, his old home. How the mountain air would sting when he breathed it. How the snow crunched under his feet. How Craig and Tweek had walked together as kids, hand in hand. How simple it all was.

The two arrived at the apartment building, its exterior grey and lifeless. Their footsteps echoed in the hallway stairs, as they passed countless barren doors, until they arrived at their destination. As soon as Craig opened the apartment door, he heard a meow as Puff ran to greet them. Tweek knelt to Puff’s level and offered his hand. Puff sniffed the hand and, after approving Tweek as non-threatening, bumped her head against it. Tweek smiled as he scratched Puff behind her ear. “What’s his name?”

“It’s Puff. And it’s a she.”

“Oh. Sorry, Puff,” Tweek said to the cat, who wasn’t offended by Tweek’s mistake.

The cat didn’t have a name for two weeks until Bebe called an intervention. Kenny spent the whole time disagreeing with every suggestion, Bebe tried her best to come up with something creative, Clyde thought each of Bebe’s suggestions was amazing, and Craig just sat back, watching it unfold. Finally, Bebe had run out of ideas and suggested Fluff. Clyde nodded, saying it was a classic, and Kenny considered for a second before declining. Bebe groaned, and threw a pillow at him. She gave a look to Craig, which he deciphered to mean _can you believe this asshole?_ and Craig shrugged his shoulders, silently saying _that’s Kenny for you_.

After hours of suggestions, Kenny agreed to name his cat Puff. Bebe had suggested it as a reference to how furry the cat was, but Kenny agreed to it only because it made him think of weed.

“Why’d you switch from guinea pigs to a cat?” Tweek asked.

“It’s Kenny’s,” Craig said. He’d rather have a guinea pig, but he had to admit he couldn’t take care of one alone. When he still lived at home, his sister had been the one to take care of any animals, always talking about becoming a vet. Craig had been berated a few times for not feeding the animals by both Tricia and Kenny.

Muffled footsteps came from Clyde’s room, and the door opened.

“Hey.” Clyde peeked out of his room. “You guys know where Kenny is?”

“He went to work this morning,” Tweek said. Craig furrowed his eyebrows. Hadn’t Kenny said he had a few days off now?

“I texted him but he’s not answering,” Clyde said. “Which reminds me…” Clyde and Craig made eye contact. _Oh, shit_. “Did you text Bebe?”

“I’ll do it later,” Craig said, not because he planned on doing it, but because it would keep Clyde satisfied for a few hours. Clyde took it at face value, and shifted his attention to Tweek.

“Tweek, wanna stay until Saturday?”

“What happens on Saturday?” Tweek asked.

Clyde launched into a tirade of things he had already planned. It boiled down to Token, booze, and music. Clyde revealed his masterplan of asking Kenny to get his older brother to buy them alcohol, since they were all a year shy from being able to buy some themselves. He was planning the party with the passion someone might have for planning a wedding.

Craig felt the outline of his phone in his pocket. Maybe it would be fun to hang out with Bebe. They hadn’t seen each other for a while now. Bebe usually had a way of looking at things that cleared them up, so she might have some theory about Tweek. Craig snuck into his room, sat down on his bed, and took his phone from his pocket.

_party on saturday,_ Craig wrote. _clyde wants you to come._

He set his phone on the bed, and reached out to his laptop, which Tweek had put on the nightstand. The laptop didn’t have time to boot up before Craig’s phone vibrated.

_whos going?_ A text bubble popped up. Craig grabbed the phone and started typing.

_us token and jimmy i think._ Craig paused. _and tweeks here._

_wtf tweek??_ Bebe answered. A second bubble popped up. _can I take wendy?_

Craig put his head on the pillow. Wendy was the safest plus-one someone could bring, and Clyde would probably go past the six person limit no matter what. _k but nobody else._

Just as Craig was about to tell Bebe about how strange Tweek was acting, he heard the front door close. Was Tweek trying to leave again? Craig got up, and peeked into the living room. It was Kenny. He had a smile that Craig recognized from his time in retail. From this distance, it was easy to see how short Clyde and Tweek really were compared to him.

“Thank God you’re back,” Clyde said, and put his hand on Kenny’s arm. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Can it wait?” Kenny snaked his way out of Clyde’s grip. “I’m tired as fuck.”

Craig expected Kenny to go take a shower, like he always did after a shift of working with diseased and bloody people, but Kenny had other plans. He pushed past Craig, and plopped down on Craig’s bed with the same sense of ownership that Puff would have. With Kenny, privacy was a privilege. Craig ignored Kenny’s gesturing to come lie next to him.

“Where’ve you been?” Craig asked, leaning against a wall.

“Providing for our lovely family.” Kenny closed his eyes and stretched. “Somebody has to.”

“Do you have two jobs?”

“Where do you think the money for food comes from?” Kenny asked. “I’m not rich like Token.”

Craig hadn’t spared much thought to their financial situation. All he knew was that he needed 200 dollars more to afford driving lessons. “We never asked you to do that.”

“You know I’d do anything for my sweet little Craig.”

Craig scoffed. Kenny still had his eyes closed, a solemn expression on his face. Craig sat down at the foot of the bed, facing away from Kenny. “But why?”

“I like being useful,” he said. Craig felt Kenny’s toes creeping to his lower back, tickling him. “And I like you.”

Craig turned to look at Kenny, expecting a twinkle in his eye and a smirk that showed how nothing was ever serious with him. Kenny wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t even looking at Craig. He was staring up at the ceiling, his chest slowly rising as he breathed in deep. Craig’s friendship with Kenny seemed to always have been there. They were never best friends, or even hung out much, but they could always fall back on each other. Always second choice. If Craig needed to hide a body, it would be Token bribing the cops, Clyde with hands just as red as Craig’s, and Kenny digging the hole. Before, Tweek could’ve fit in that equation as the one freaking out and figuring where to dig, but he wasn’t there anymore. Craig turned back.

“You are useful,” he said. He expected some joke from Kenny, like always, but it never came. Time stretched with the silence, until Kenny got up.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice flat, and left the room.

Craig sat still for a moment. Everyone was acting strange. The only one who made any sense was Clyde, whose voice could be heard through the door, telling Tweek stories about what he had missed in the past year. Craig lay down and grabbed his laptop. He could’ve gone out there and joined the conversation. He could’ve spent the rest of the day having fun with his friends.

But he didn’t.


	5. Blank

Clyde wouldn’t shut up about Saturday. Every sentence he said included the words _Token_ and _party_ in some form. He had lists of different things floating around the apartment. The ones Craig had seen had been lists of movies, party snacks, and a playlist of songs. Clyde had even cleaned the apartment and stocked the fridge with food, drinks, and everything except alcohol.

Clyde had convinced Kenny to visit his brother for a beer run, even though Kenny usually avoided his family. If it weren’t for his little sister, he would’ve cut contact ages ago. Craig knew this, because Kenny would mention it every single time his family was brought up, including yesterday when he left to meet them at Clyde’s request. South Park was only around two hours away, but Kenny had been gone ever since Thursday evening.

Tweek had stayed as their guest. He had been gone for several hours on Friday, and when he returned he wouldn’t speak of where he went. He kept borrowing Craig’s laptop and angling it away from everyone so they couldn’t see what he was doing. Craig had tested to see how far it went, and sat next to Tweek, but Tweek just flipped the laptop shut and refused to talk about it. Each time Tweek returned the laptop, the internet history had been wiped clean.

When Saturday finally rolled around, Clyde was counting the seconds to Token’s plane landing. The apartment looked cleaner than ever, except for Craig’s room. The place looked almost spacious with all the clothes removed from the floor and random cardboard boxes finally thrown out. Puff celebrated the newfound space by dashing across the floor and jumping to the couch, only to dash away again when approached. She must’ve felt the same energy in the air as Craig did. Clyde’s anticipation radiated to everyone around him. Tweek kept tapping the keyboard of Craig’s laptop, even when he wasn’t writing, still trying to obscure the screen from everyone else. Craig locked himself in his room to escape until it was time to leave.

The only problem was that Kenny still wasn’t home. He had promised to drive them all to the airport, but didn’t mention that he’d be miserably late. At midday, Clyde was getting worried. An hour later, he started sending messages every minute demanding to know where he was. The clock was past two, an hour before the plane landing, when Kenny answered. He was halfway back from South park. When the doorbell rang, Clyde ran to it and ripped the door wide open. Kenny was holding two plastic bags, which made clinging sounds as he stepped in.

“Oh my God, Kenny, I’m seriously gonna kill you!” Clyde greeted him.

“Yeah, I’m a bastard.” Kenny set the bags down in the kitchen. “You should be grateful I even went.”

Craig glanced at the clock on his phone. Token’s plane was landing in twenty minutes, and the trip to the airport took forty minutes on a good day. Clyde rushed everyone outside, giving them barely enough time to tie their shoelaces. They squeezed themselves in the car, with Kenny and Clyde at the front, and Tweek and Craig at the back. Kenny’s car struggled for a moment before starting.

The car was cramped, and Craig’s knees were pressed against the back of Clyde’s seat. He complained to Clyde, who turned to look Craig dead in the eyes and scooted his seat even further back. Craig tried to kick the seat with poor results. Clyde snickered before scooting forward, letting Craig have some leg space.

“Asshole,” Craig muttered. Clyde made a heart-shape with his hands.

“If we crashed right then, you’d both be in pieces,” Kenny said.

“You’re really spoiling the road trip spirit, Kenny,” Clyde said, but sat down properly and put on his seatbelt anyway.

“Yeah, Mr. Safety,” Craig said.

“You can make fun of me all you want.” Kenny looked at Craig through the rear-view mirror. “I’ll be the one laughing at your graves.”

“Keep your eyes on the road, then,” Craig said. Kenny glared and looked away. Craig fastened his seatbelt, and leaned against the car window.

The wind carried yellow leaves, which were slowly starting to cover the streets. The puddles on the road splashed as the car drove over them. Craig closed his eyes, and listened to the sound of the engine, the clicking of the turn signal, the idle purring as they waited at a light, and the rising intensity when it turned green.

Craig listened to Clyde, who recited a text from Token that said the plane had landed. Clyde cursed Kenny for being late, but Kenny paid no mind. Clyde narrated Token’s exciting adventure of waiting for people to deplane and the search for the baggage claim. Craig opened his eyes to see the changed landscape, filled with brick houses and yellow trees.

“So, Tweek.” Clyde looked over his shoulder. “Excited about seeing Token again?”

“Yeah.” Tweek looked out the window. “It’s been a while since we talked.”

“I can’t even imagine.” Clyde turned entirely around in his seat to face Tweek. “A few months is bad enough, but a year…”

“Actually…” Tweek kept his gaze on the road. “It’s only been a few weeks.”

“What?” Craig turned to Tweek. Over a year of no contact with Craig or Clyde, and somehow Token hadn’t been cut off. “Why?”

“He kept in contact with me.” Tweek’s frown was so slight, Craig almost didn’t notice it. “He was the only one who did.”

Craig could remember distinctly when Tweek had said his family was moving to Fort Collins. It was in August, and the four of them were at Clyde’s house. They were talking about starting university, and where they’d live. Craig said he could split a dorm room with Tweek, and Tweek was quiet. He said he wouldn’t be coming with them. He was moving away next week. His dad had an opportunity to start his own business again, a small family-owned coffee house.

Craig didn’t talk to Tweek for the whole week. Token kept saying he’d regret it, but Craig insisted he didn’t care about Tweek leaving. It was better that way. Easier. After a month, Craig tried to text Tweek. No answer. He waited a day before trying again. Silence.

“But you said you never wanted to hear from us again.”

“What?” Tweek looked up at Craig. “No, I said I’d _probably_ never hear from you, because…” Tweek faltered, and looked away. “…because you’d forget about me.”

“Are you serious?” Craig wouldn’t forget even when he tried. If he forgot about Tweek for a few weeks, he’d have a dream where Tweek was there, like nothing had ever changed. “I tried to text you but you never answered!”

“We moved!” Tweek snapped. “I got a new phone, new number, new everything.”

“How did Token have your number then?”

“He asked me on Facebook.” Tweek crossed his arms. “You know, like friends do.”

“Guys.” Clyde peeked from behind his headrest. “Please don’t fight.”

“I’m not fighting.” Craig lounged on the seat and glared at Tweek. “Besides, you know I don’t even use Facebook much.”

Kenny groaned. “Christ, it’s like I’m driving a school bus.” He locked eyes with Craig through the mirror. His gaze screamed murder. Kenny looked back to the road, and gave Clyde a tap with the back of his hand. “Sit down, or the airbag’s gonna shatter your spine.”

“Come on, what are the odds you’d crash right now?” Clyde asked, but still turned back around.

“I’m gonna do it on purpose at this rate.”

The last ten minutes of the trip were mostly silent, save for Clyde’s occasional updates about Token’s baggage claim progress. Craig kept his eyes fixed on the road, sitting as far away from Tweek as he could. Tweek was impossible. Craig could swear his average heartrate had increased in the past week. Why had he ever been together with that guy? Young Craig had been an idiot for ever believing to be gay. Craig took a deep breath and focused his thoughts. The scenery outside was barren. There were no buildings or trees, only endless dead grass. He saw the airport in the distance.

Kenny parked the car in a huge parking garage, and the four stepped out. Craig looked around him. He had never been anywhere as huge as the airport. There were hundreds of cars around them, and some families hurrying with their suitcases. Craig looked for landmarks in the rows of nearly identical cars to remember where they parked. With Kenny’s awful spatial memory, they could be stranded for days otherwise.

Clyde checked his phone. “Are we in Garage East?”

Kenny locked his car and shrugged. “That’s where you told me to park.”

“Okay.” Clyde pocketed his phone and gestured towards one of the exits. “That way.”

They followed Clyde through the parked cars into the main building. Clyde texted Token, and they agreed to meet in front of a bar and barbecue on the fifth level. They debated going inside, but decided not to after seeing the prices on the menu. Clyde rocked back and forth as they waited, watching frantically for Token. After a few minutes, a familiar face appeared from the crowd.

“Token!” Clyde walked to meet him halfway, and grabbed him into a tight hug. Token patted Clyde on the back, and they held each other for a few seconds. Clyde took a step back, and lightly punched Token’s arm. “You look good, man.”

“You too.” Token smiled. He turned to the other three. “It’s good to see you guys.”

Clyde must’ve texted about every second of his life to Token, because he didn’t seem surprised to see Kenny and Tweek with them. Maybe Token even knew something about what Tweek had been up to. Token greeted Tweek and Kenny with quick hugs, and Craig with a short nod. Craig had always liked how Token understood that Craig didn’t really enjoy being touched that much. The terminal was getting more packed by the second, and Craig found it harder and harder to avoid being bumped into.

“We should get going,” Token said after narrowly avoiding a suitcase crushing his feet.

“We just gotta find the car.” Kenny looked around, presumably for someone with a better spatial memory than him.

“Don’t worry, I remember where we parked,” Clyde said, and walked the wrong way.

After five minutes of looking in the wrong place, Craig took the lead, and brought them to the car. Kenny and Token sat at the front, while Craig and Clyde got the window seats in the back. Tweek had to fit himself in the small space between the two. The car had been cramped with just four people, but now it was well on its way to becoming a clown car. Kenny reminded everyone about their seatbelts, and the car was filled with clicking sounds as everyone complied. When Craig tried to put his seatbelt on, his hand brushed against Tweek’s thigh. The buckle didn’t click, and for a few increasingly gropey seconds Craig tried to shove it in, turning it around like a USB stick. As soon as it clicked, Craig yanked his hands away and tucked himself as close to the window as he could, trying to hide his burning face.

The trip back was like an interview. Clyde would lean on Kenny’s seat, and ask Token about his life, education, diet, morning routine, apartment, and everything possible. Token talked about his trips to New York, letting Clyde shuffle through the pictures of skyscrapers, statues, and strange people. Clyde gave the phone to Tweek to show a picture taken pointing at the sky surrounded by buildings. Craig peeked at the picture. The buildings looked frail, like they could all fall on him at any moment. He decided he would never visit New York. The buildings in Denver were tall enough.

Token started talking about his studies, and said he chose to major in biophysics. As he talked, Clyde would hum and agree, but would make confused faces at Craig whenever Token turned away. Craig’s consistent Cs in biology and Ds in physics didn’t help him understand much of Token’s words either. Craig might’ve failed physics if it weren’t for Token’s constant tutoring of Craig and Clyde. They also owed their university acceptance letters to Token, who had done his best to help make their applications legible and almost impressive.

Craig stared out the window, twitching from sitting so long. The grasslands close to the airport were becoming rural towns. The highway gradually gathered more lanes as the landscape outside shifted, until they exited the highway to the streets. The closer they got to the city center, the closer together the streets were. Slowly the trees became sparser, replaced by gas stations and grocery stores. Every tree next to the road looked planted, while there were still some woods visible further away. The buildings grew taller as their trip neared its end.

When they were minutes away from their apartment, Craig brought his focus back inside the car. Clyde and Token were still talking, but now Tweek was also absorbed in the conversation. Craig glanced at the rear-view mirror. Kenny’s glazed eyes focused again when he noticed Craig watching him. Craig waited for the wink to come, but Kenny just turned his gaze back to the road. They sped past the park Craig and Tweek had visited two days ago, and soon after came to a stop in front of their apartment building.

Craig unbuckled his seatbelt while keeping his hands as far from touching Tweek as possible, and stepped outside. There was no greater freedom than stretching after a lengthy car ride. The five of them entered the hallway and filled it with the echoes of their footsteps. Clyde opened the apartment door and held it out with a bow to Token. They struggled to remove their coats and shoes in the limited space. Puff ran out to greet them once again.

“You have a cat?” Token asked.

“Yeah, that’s Puff.” Kenny picked up Puff, who meowed in protest. He presented the cat to Token, supporting her back paws with one hand and her chest with the other. Token tried to pet Puff, but she resisted, insisting on sniffing Token’s hand first. When no compromise was reached, Kenny set her down. “She’s six months old now.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised, guys.” Token walked through the apartment, inspecting everything new, which there wasn’t a lot of. “I thought this place would be trashed.”

“I vacuumed!” Clyde stood with his chest puffed out. “You know, for your welcoming party.”

“I’m flattered.” Token walked to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle from one of the plastic bags. “Cherry cider? You invited Bebe, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah.” Clyde started putting some drinks in the fridge. “But the cherry is for me. Bebe likes pear.”

“So, when’s everybody coming?” Tweek asked.

“Around six.” Clyde looked at his phone. “So, in two hours.”

Two hours of respite. Craig snuck into his room, and slumped down on his bed, his feet still touching the ground. He’d need some rest and meditation to get through the day. He counted the guests in his head. There’d be Craig, Clyde, and Kenny, of course. Tweek and Token would both definitely be there. Clyde had asked Jimmy, and Bebe was bringing Wendy. Nine people, at least. Craig winced at the thought.

The door to Craig’s room creaked, and Tweek poked his head through. Craig stared.

“Can I…” Tweek gestured.

“Come in?” Craig sat up. “If you have to.”

Tweek wedged himself in and closed the door behind him. He stood for a while, until he decided to sit on the bed next to Craig. He stared at his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Tweek looked at Craig. His eyes drilled through Craig’s skull, almost like reading thoughts. Craig tried to think of something boring and mundane, like his coding homework. Tweek wouldn’t stop staring, and it was invading Craig’s mind, finding every unchecked crevice and piercing them, preventing thought. His mind was empty, an expanding universe of nothing but a blank canvas, and he forgot if it was his turn to speak or not. Tweek looked down at his hands. “Sorry for being mean earlier.”

“Oh.” Craig blinked his eyes a few times. His thoughts started coming back. “That’s okay.”

Tweek let out a frustrated sigh, bordering on a laugh. “You’re supposed to say, 'You weren’t mean, I’m sorry too.'”

“Oh, right.” Craig adjusted his position, trying to seem laid back. He put his hands on his knees, then in his pockets, then crossed in his lap.

“For what it’s worth, I never wanted to move to Fort Collins,” Tweek said. He was fiddling with his sleeve. One could almost accuse him of going to a clothing store and buying a shirt with long sleeves just to fiddle with. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for the way you were.”

“Token said I’d regret it,” Craig said. He looked at Tweek’s profile. His cheekbones had become more pronounced, but his eyelashes were curled the same way as before. “And I did.”

“I should’ve stayed.” Tweek looked up at Craig. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I feel better here.”

“Of course.” Craig felt the eye contact start drilling into his head again, so he looked at Tweek’s shoulder instead. “Your dad’s a… demanding person.”

“16-hour shifts in a coffee shop.” Tweek shook his head. “But we needed to be always open like the competitors.”

“How did you not go crazy?”

“I did a couple times.” Tweek’s knee bumped against Craig’s. “Once, I got so sleep deprived I saw these shadow people out of the corner of my eye, and I thought a customer was FBI trying to bust me for something.”

“Damn…” Craig looked down at their legs. The touch was slight, but Craig couldn’t take his mind off it. “Promise me you won’t go back to that.”

“Couldn’t even if I wanted to.” Tweek rested his hands on his knees, his right pinky finger brushing against Craig’s leg. Craig expected to feel the usual discomfort from it, but he didn’t. Tweek looked like his mind was far away.

“What happened?” Craig brushed his fingers against Tweek’s knuckles. Tweek looked at Craig, and smiled.

“Ask me again when I’m drunk,” he said, and got up. Before he left the room, he turned around, his hand lingering on the door handle. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

“My pleasure.”

Tweek smiled, and left the room. Craig debated whether to get up and follow Tweek, or lie down and gather strength for the party. He checked the time on his phone. An hour and a half left.

He lay down, letting the blank canvas of Tweek’s eyes fill his mind.


	6. Party Puker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a monster. It's almost as long as the previous chapters together. Also, the crenny was supposed to be subtext only but this chapter ripped that sub prefix right off.

Craig lay on his bed, staring at the laptop screen. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, not sure what to type. If Tweek had told the truth at the park, there would have to be articles about it. Craig started writing. _Coffee shop homicide Fort Collins_. He hesitated. Tweek would be upset about this. News articles can be so impersonal. Maybe even false. The best witness is an eye witness, right? The owner’s son, no less. Tweek was here, so why not ask him? The clock on the bottom of the screen showed 17:48. Their friends would start arriving soon. Maybe this wasn’t the best time. Craig pressed down backspace until the search bar was clear again and closed the laptop. He got up and braced himself for social impact.

When he stepped into the living room, he could swear he was in the wrong apartment. There were snack bowls scattered around the room, some balloons and strings lying on the floor, and music blaring from Clyde’s phone. A movie Craig didn’t recognize was playing on the TV. Token and Clyde were sitting on the couch, but Kenny and Tweek were nowhere to be seen.

“Why do we have balloons?” Craig looked to Clyde, who was searching for something to watch on TV.

“I know, they’re awesome.” Clyde leaned his head back to look at Craig upside down. “Jimmy’s almost here.”

“Who’d you invite?” Craig peeked into the kitchen. There was a case of beer on the counter. “Where’s Tweek?”

“Just a couple guys.” Clyde pointed at Kenny’s closed door. “I think Tweek’s in there.”

Craig glared at the door. The plank of wood taunted him, firmly shut and relatively soundproof. Craig walked up to the door and listened. The faintest trace of conversation seeped through, followed by Tweek’s laughter. Images of Tweek and Kenny bonding side by side invaded Craig’s head. Tweek laughing with Kenny, smiling, gently touching his arm. Craig opened the door faster than an unwelcome mom.

Kenny was lying down on the bed, the traces of a smile on his face fading. His legs were under Tweek’s knees. Tweek was leaning his back against a wall, Puff in his lap, his legs resting comfortably on Kenny’s, toes not reaching the ground. Puff leaned into Tweek’s hand, demanding the disrupted petting to continue.

“This must be a welcome sight.” Kenny’s eyes were sharp, his lip curving upward, an expression purposefully crafted. He put his hands behind his head and puffed his chest out. “Two blonds in bed, ready for you.”

“I think you’re projecting,” Craig said. He stepped into the room, but left the door open. Kenny’s room was minimalist in its design. The sheets on his bed were grey, his curtains were black, and the floor was bare. There was a simple desk against the wall, with a ripped faux leather computer chair. His nightstand had a small lamp and a magazine. The rest of his stuff was hidden in an entire wall of cabinets.

Tweek and Kenny were looking at Craig. They had little raised eyebrows, the expectation of explanation on their faces. He didn’t have one. He couldn’t think of an excuse for barging into Kenny’s room, nor could he remember his reasoning in the first place.

“Are the guests almost here?” Tweek asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Craig could kiss Tweek for this conversational save. “Yeah, that’s what I came to tell you.”

Kenny’s smile turned mischievous. “I can’t wait.”

“Why?” Craig could recount dozens of times in the past years when Kenny had skipped parties or bailed in the middle. Craig would often seek refuge with Kenny in whatever clever corner he had hidden himself in. “You hate stuff like this.”

“But you hate it more.”

Craig scanned Kenny’s face. What tricks could this sneaky asshole be up to now? Did he only buy light beer? Did he invite prostitutes? Did he bring drugs? Craig was about to question Kenny’s motives, when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” A yell came from the couch. Clyde dashed for the door and opened it.

Bebe and Wendy were standing in the hallway, with two others Craig couldn’t recognize at this distance.

“Hey, guys! So good to see you, Bebe.” Clyde gave Bebe a quick hug. “Did you do something with your hair?”

“I got highlights.” Bebe twirled a strand of her curls. Craig couldn’t see any difference. She smiled at Clyde. “You like it?”

“Love it.” Clyde turned his attention to the two figures behind the girls. “Wow, I haven’t seen you guys in years.”

Craig moved into the living room to get a better look at their mysterious guests. One of them had short ginger curls, and the other had shaggy black hair under his beanie. When the black haired one ran his hand down Wendy’s arm, a wave of recognition hit Craig.

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Stan said. He looked to Kyle, who nodded in agreement.

“Over two years now,” Kyle said.

The group began taking off their jackets, shoes, and hats. Kenny and Tweek walked out into the living room, but before Kenny could greet their guests, Craig grabbed his arm and dragged him back to the room he came from with little resistance. Craig left the door ajar and lowered his voice as he spoke.

“Did Clyde know you invited them?”

Kenny shook free of Craig’s grip and stood straight. “No. He said you didn’t want me inviting my friends.”

Craig rolled his eyes. Clyde was not a master of deception or diplomacy. “I didn’t say that _exactly._ ”

“Close enough.”

“So… this was revenge?”

“You think I’m that petty?” Kenny raised his eyebrow. “I just invited them ‘cause I saw them back in South park. Cartman’s mom is still a milf, by the way.”

“Isn’t she out of your price range?”

Kenny tried to hide his laugh, but failed. “You’re such a dick.”

The corners of Craig’s mouth twitched upwards. “I know.”

As far as revenge goes, this wasn’t the worst Kenny had done. Craig opened the door, and let Kenny off the hook. The two returned to the living room just in time to see Clyde setting up his phone and playing music. Craig took a deep breath and rubbed his thumb on the inside of his palm, preparing for the next few torturous hours of loud noise and social interaction. He watched how everyone in the living room merged into small groups as if guided by invisible powers, knowing with such precision exactly who to talk to and where to stand. Craig stood still and stared. He might’ve been frozen like that until the end of the evening had Kenny not yanked him to a group with Tweek and Kyle.

The pointless chit chat was bordering on awkward, as Kyle talked about the accomplishments of his little brother, downplaying his own studies. Kenny had a small aura of _fuck you_ as he talked with Kyle. He had assured Craig he’d never hold a grudge, but it was obvious that he still felt hurt by his friends for what happened in high school. Tweek avoided all questions by asking questions of his own; a strategy that never seemed to fail. Craig stayed silent and endured.

Not even ten minutes had passed when the doorbell rang again. Clyde dashed for the door and gave a hug to Jimmy before he could step inside. For a minute, Jimmy could’ve been Brad Pitt based on everyone’s reactions. Everyone turned to him, some going up to greet him. Craig settled for staying back and nodding his head in acknowledgement when Jimmy looked at him. The doorbell rang a few more times, but Craig didn’t recognize all the people. Clyde must’ve invited half of the people from his classes. That six person limit had clearly gone to deaf ears.

The small apartment was cramped. Craig raided the kitchen for anything that looked nice and came back to Kenny and Tweek with three bottles in hand. Kenny lead them to a corner between Craig’s and Kenny’s rooms which was as close to privacy as possible. Jimmy came to them and held conversation for a while. After him, Token took his turn. The conversation with them all felt like a chore, at least to Craig.

Almost an hour had passed when the doorbell rang once again. This time Clyde didn’t lift a finger, as he was deep in flirtation with Bebe, completely oblivious to anything happening around him. Craig looked at his small entourage, who stared back. The doorbell rang a second time, and Kenny gestured at Craig expectantly. Craig sighed, taking a second to prepare himself for pointless chitchat. He handed his half-full bottle to Tweek and went to open the door. He regretted it instantly.

“Cartman?” Craig’s hand twitched on the door frame. “Who the fuck invited you?”

“Nice to see you too, asshole.” Cartman pushed past Craig with ease despite being a head shorter. He hadn’t changed much. “Where’s Kenny?”

Turns out this was Kenny’s petty revenge after all. Craig glared. “You’re not staying.” He grabbed Cartman’s arm, ready to throw him out, when Clyde noticed the new arrival.

“Cartman?” Clyde walked up to Cartman with a smile. Craig let go of Cartman’s arm. “Holy shit, it’s been like forever!”

“Hello, Clyde.” Cartman allowed a quick hug, and sneered at Craig. “See, this is how you should greet people.”

Craig flipped him off. Cartman’s smug face disappeared into the crowd, dragged along by Clyde. Kyle’s loud groan summed up how Craig felt about their new guest, too. Kenny had mysteriously disappeared when Craig went back to their private corner. Tweek was standing, stiff as a day-old corpse, with a bright red bottle of cider in his right hand and Craig’s beer in the other. He was peeling off the label on Craig’s drink with his thumb, but quit as soon as he noticed Craig. He extended the bottle and Craig grabbed it with more force than intended.

“Where did that fuckface go?”

Tweek stared with wide eyes. “Kenny?

“I’m gonna punch his liver if I see him.” Craig moved next to Tweek and leaned against a wall. Tweek relaxed and did the same. Crag crossed his arms. “He’s doing this to mess with me.”

“Well…” Tweek fiddled with his bottle. “I don’t know if I should tell you this.”

“You two gossip about me?”

“No!” Tweek’s cheeks had a red tinge. “Not really. He was just mad at you because you were an asshole, apparently.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

Tweek gave Craig a deadpan stare. “You’re so funny, Craig.”

Craig smiled. “I’m hilarious.”

“I was being serious, though,” Tweek said. He took a quick sip from his bottle before continuing. “He was pissed about something you said. He didn’t tell me what it was, exactly.”

Craig frowned. Kenny was rarely pissed, and when he was, he had good reason. Craig reviewed the past few days in his head. Nothing jumped to mind. The only thing that had happened was Craig not wanting too many guests at the party. “Must be because Clyde told him about the thing.”

“Thing?”

“I told Clyde that Kenny can’t invite anyone. Of course, Clyde’s a damn snitch.” Craig shook his head. “Weird, Kenny doesn’t usually care about small shit like that.”

Tweek looked doubtful. “I don’t know. That doesn’t sound right.”

“But that’s why he invited Cartman and the others.” Craig scanned the room for the sneaky blond bastard. Nowhere to be seen. “He’s been super weird lately anyway.”

“He’s a complicated man, I guess.”

“Not as complicated as you.” Craig stole a sly sideways glance at Tweek. Tweek looked like he had been sucker punched.

“What are you talking about? I’m basic as fuck.”

“Your meth thing.” Craig scanned Tweek’s face. “You said I could ask when you’re drunk.”

“Do I seem drunk to you?” Tweek’s voice was a harsh whisper. He looked around. “Also, this isn’t a good place to talk about, you know, illegal stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure Token’s an undercover cop.”

Tweek huffed. “You’re the complicated one.” He poked Craig’s shoulder. “And by that, I mean a pain in the ass.”

Craig shrugged. He scanned through the room again. There were too many people shouting over the music blaring from Clyde’s phone. Hopefully the neighbors wouldn’t complain. Clyde seemed satisfied, basking in the attention while chugging his can of beer a bit too fast. Craig still couldn’t locate Kenny, until the balcony door opened. Kenny and Stan came inside, both slightly shivering. Craig nudged Tweek’s shoulder and gestured at Kenny. He took a few angry steps towards the offending party, when Tweek grabbed his arm.

“Craig, don’t.” Tweek didn’t let go of Craig’s arm until Craig relaxed and turned back.

“Why?”

“Honestly?” Tweek stepped a bit closer to Craig. Craig swallowed. “I think there’s something else going on with him. You don’t have the tact to deal with stuff the right way.”

Craig frowned. “I’m not gonna be mean or anything. Not on purpose at least.”

“I know. Don’t do it.”

Tweek stared at Craig with a stern look until Craig relented. “Fine,” Craig said. “Maybe you’re right, like always. I hate that about you, you know.”

Tweek smiled. “Hate? Craig, you’re an open book, and the first paragraph says you love me.”

Craig’s cheeks felt warm, and he turned away. “Yeah, right. Let’s go find Clyde.”

The two headed for ground zero of the party. There were a couple of huge pillows on the ground that some people were sitting on. The couch, which usually faced the TV against the wall, had been turned around. Clyde sat on it like a king with Bebe on his left and Token on his right. King Clyde beamed at Craig, handed Bebe his beer, and shot up from his throne. Before Craig could say anything, Clyde grabbed him and dragged him down onto the couch, forcing Craig to half sit on his lap and half flail around for support, trying to not spill the contents of his beer bottle. Token chuckled and scooted over, allowing Craig to sit between him and Clyde with no space between the three. It was uncomfortable, but Craig endured it for Clyde’s sake.

Tweek looked down at Craig struggling between his two friends, and smiled with an amused glint in his eyes. He sat down on a pillow next to Kyle and Wendy. Clyde continued the story he was telling Bebe, which was filled with subtle compliments and bragging. The familiarity of Clyde’s ranting almost let Craig relax, when he saw Kenny approaching from the corner of his eye, Stan following suit. Kenny walked to Tweek and sat down, with Stan settling closer to Wendy. Tweek gave Craig a look that could only be interpreted as _do_ _not talk to him or I will rip you apart_. Craig made a face at Tweek that he hoped would convey _whatever, I wasn’t going to anyways_.

Not that he could’ve, since a girl Craig didn’t recognize flopped next to Kenny. She had long brown hair tied into a ponytail and a top cut so low that Craig felt inappropriate for looking at her. She whispered something into Kenny’s ear and ran her hand down Kenny’s arm. He smiled at her and pushed her hand off, then whispered in her ear. Craig watched from the corner of his eye, trying to be inconspicuous. He was waiting for the moment Kenny would lead the girl into his bedroom, but it never came. Kenny smiled a tight smile at her and she got up, looking annoyed.

Craig stared at Kenny and waited for the punchline. Nothing happened. Kenny glanced at Craig, but averted his eyes after they made eye contact. Craig looked around to see if anyone else saw Kenny turning the chick down, but nobody seemed to have noticed. Craig elbowed Clyde in the rib.

“Clyde, did you see that?”

“Dude!” Clyde rubbed his side. “Your elbows are crazy sharp.”

“Did you see Kenny turning that chick down?” Craig ignored the way Clyde was pouting at him. “Weird, right?”

“What?” Clyde looked down at Kenny, who was hopefully out of earshot. “Uh, no. Why’s that weird?”

“Well, you know…” Craig lowered his voice just in case Kenny could hear. “Because he’s basically a slut.”

“He is?” Clyde narrowed his eyes. “Okay, did I miss something?”

“You know, he’s always hitting on everybody.”

“Not in my experience.” Clyde shrugged and smirked. “Maybe he thinks I’m ugly.”

“Can’t blame him.”

“Damn, dude.” Clyde chuckled and shoved Craig barely hard enough to nudge him. “You’re ice cold.”

Craig shrugged and downed the rest of his drink in one long gulp. His head had a small buzz and he felt airier than usual. The feeling made him want to squirm away into a dark room. He envied Clyde for his tendency to be a happy drunk. Token was an honest drunk, Kenny was an emotional drunk, Bebe was a sloppy drunk, Tweek was never drunk, but Craig, he was just uncomfortable. He could feel his inhibitions slip away as he accepted another beer can from Token. It was probably a mistake, but with everyone so happy around him, he gave in anyway. Clyde clinked his can against Craig’s, which made a very unsatisfying, damp sound, and challenged Craig to see who could chug it down faster. Clyde won.

The first sign of Clyde being plastered was him turning on Careless Whisper on his phone, slowly swaying, singing, terrorizing others with his invites to the dance floor. The first sign of Craig being plastered was not shutting it down immediately. In fact, this time he joined in. They danced together, a mix of tango and slow dance, mostly tripping on their feet. Craig looked to the small crowd of people watching them. Token was smiling and shaking his head. Bebe was covering her mouth, but her eyes betrayed her laugh. Kenny was leaning on Tweek, and gave the dancing couple a thumbs-up.

Tweek was smiling. Compared to the last few days, he seemed relaxed. His smile was soft and his eyes softer. It made Craig’s chest tighten and his heart flutter, his mind become blank and his thoughts erased. Tweek’s eyes were a lure and Craig was a fish heading for its doom. The music was damp against the small laugh coming from Tweek. Tweek leaned to Kenny’s ear and whispered something. He got up, grabbed his drink, and headed somewhere Craig couldn’t see.

Clyde was stumbling. His weight crashed against Craig, and they almost fell. While supporting Clyde’s drunken body, Craig gestured at Token. Token nodded and took over Clyde, setting him down on the couch. Craig looked around, trying to see where Tweek had gone. No sign of him. Craig decided that going through each room would be too obvious, so he settled for a subtler approach. He sat down next to Kenny.

Kenny smirked and set a hand on Craig’s knee. “You must be so fucking wasted,” Kenny murmured, “to be dancing around like that.”

“And you—” Craig poked Kenny’s cheek. “—must be a real dick to invite Cartman.”

Kenny swatted Craig’s hand away. “You, of all people, are calling me a dick?”

“Tweek thinks something’s up with you.” Craig grabbed Kenny’s drink and took a long swig. Kenny’s face betrayed no emotion. Craig handed the bottle back. “I think it’s just because you’re a bitch.”

“Oh, you’re a real charmer today.” Kenny grabbed the drink out of Craig’s hand. “You’d be so fucked in life without that precious face of yours.”

“Shut up, man. I’m charming in my own way.”

“As charming as a prolapsed asshole.”

“Wow, okay.” Craig straightened his back. “Just so you know, I’m gonna complain about Cartman when I’m sober.”

“Please, don’t.” Kenny rubbed his temple. “It was stupid and I’m a bitch. There’s nothing more to it. You can drop it now.”

“Oh.” Craig stared. “That was… easy.”

“You know me.” Kenny smiled with tired eyes. “There’s only one thing I like hard.”

“Yeah, your alcohol,” Craig said, and grabbed Kenny’s beer again and finished the last few drops. Kenny feigned a disapproving look, but he couldn’t hide the smile in his eyes.

“Now you owe me a drink. The hard kind.”

“I can go grab you a pineapple cider or whatever,” Craig said. “By the way, where did Tweek go?”

Kenny raised an eyebrow, and said, “Balcony.” Craig nodded and started getting up. Kenny grabbed his arm before he started walking, and said, “I wanna try cherry, not pineapple. Unless you care about the taste of my—”

“Kenny, I swear to God.” Craig yanked his arm way. “I’m getting you cherry.”

Craig entered the kitchen and searched the counter for a red bottle. There were two six-packs of beer left and a few glass bottles too, but no cider. He opened the fridge and found one last cherry cider. The glass bottle was cold and a bit wet. Craig searched for a bottle opener, and popped the cap off. He was tempted to steal a sip, but resisted. Craig walked back to Kenny and handed him the bottle without a word. Kenny expressed thanks in the form of a blown kiss. Craig waved him off and headed for the balcony.

Interacting with Kenny when alcohol was involved was a stupid thing to do. Last time Craig had tried to talk to Kenny while both were drunk, at Kenny’s housewarming party, it had ended with Clyde walking in on them while they were an inch away from each other’s faces. Craig liked to imagine being blackout drunk when it happened. Maybe it had made sense at the time, but thinking back to it made Craig cringe. Luckily, Clyde had only made a confused face and never mentioned it again.

Craig walked past people standing around and chatting. Kyle and Cartman were arguing about some stupid shit like usual. Craig scowled as he passed them. The balcony door was ajar, and Craig could see Tweek’s back through the window panes of the door. He was alone, leaning on the railing. Craig approached the door with careful steps. The door creaked when Craig pushed it open, making Tweek jump.

“Craig?” Tweek looked over his shoulder. Craig closed the door behind him and walked over to the railing, trying to appear casual. The balcony was small and the view was underwhelming. There was one battered wooden chair in the corner. The coldness of the concrete floor seeped through Craig’s socks.

“It’s stuffy in there,” Craig explained. He leaned on the railing next to Tweek, dangling his forearms off the edge. Tweek took a sip from his red bottle.

“Do you think we could run out of oxygen?” Tweek stared off into the distance. “I always had a window open as a kid, so I wouldn’t suffocate in my sleep. Do you think that’s even possible?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Craig frowned. “I hope not.”

“Once I forgot to open the window and I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like shit.” Tweek frowned with sudden realization. “What if that was a near-death experience?”

“Relax, Tweek.” Craig looked at the bottle in Tweek’s hands. It was almost empty. “How much did you drink?”

“I’m still not drunk, if that’s what you’re after,” Tweek said. “This is my first bottle. I don’t really like beer, but this cherry stuff is kinda nice.”

Craig scanned Tweek’s presence. He hadn’t noticed the small desperation stuck on Tweek’s face the past week until now, as he couldn’t see it anymore. A breeze blew Tweek’s hair in his face, and he shivered. Years ago, Craig would’ve reached over and brushed the hair off Tweek’s face. Now, his hand just twitched as it remembered the soft texture. Craig looked away. “You seem more alive now.”

“Well, yeah.” Tweek had a tiny frown. He lifted his bottle to eye level. “This helps with the withdrawal.”

“Withdrawal of what?”

“Caffeine, at least.” Tweek looked distant. “I don’t wanna know what else.”

“Okay…” Craig shuffled in his place. His toes were freezing, but his chest was warm. He pressed his fingers against his leg, digging into the muscle. The pressure made it easier to focus. Tweek swayed next to him, a shoulder brushing against Craig.

“I wish I had something to go back to,” Tweek said. He looked up at the stars. “I wish I had a home somewhere.”

“Don’t you? You weren’t evicted or anything.”

“I never wanna see that coffee shop again.” Tweek gripped the railing with one hand, making his knuckles turn white. He swallowed, and his voice shook slightly. “You’d have to drag me back to Fort Collins.”

“What about your friends back there?” Craig asked. “Won’t you miss them?”

Tweek’s grip faltered. He let go of the railing, and turned to Craig. “I guess I didn’t really have any.” Somehow, Tweek looked even smaller than usual. If there was a guide to consoling people, Craig could use one right now. He contemplated patting Tweek’s shoulder, but that seemed more condescending than understanding. Tweek smiled, but even Craig could tell it was forced. “I never got to know anyone there. Dad didn’t hire any help for us, and I didn’t have energy to go out after working all day.” Tweek sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if he did it on purpose.”

Craig had always imagined Tweek having the time of his life in Fort Collins, with an easy job and infinite friends. That image was crumbling down fast, making Craig think back to all the times when he’d confided in his friends, shit talking Tweek like no tomorrow. It didn’t seem as justified now.

“What do you mean?”

“If he wanted to isolate me.” Tweek’s thumb circled the mouth of his bottle. “Felt like it sometimes.”

Tweek offered the bottle to Craig, who hesitated before grabbing it. The glass felt cold on his lips. He gulped the pink cider down and shoved the bottle back to Tweek. The taste of cherry lingered on his tongue. Tweek brought the bottle to his lips. His neck was exposed as he craned his head backward and drank the rest of his drink. His lips looked soft wrapped around the mouth of the bottle. A warmth crept to Craig’s face and he looked away.

“So…” He shifted against the cold metal railing. “Feeling drunk yet?”

“Craig.” Tweek set a hand on Craig’s forearm, and gave him a tired look. “I didn’t mean it _that_ literally.”

“Oh, right.” Craig stared at Tweek’s hand. The small pressure made Craig’s heart skip. When Tweek withdrew the hand, it left an absence of... something. Craig cleared his throat and focused on the view. “It’s just— I’m, you know, I’m just curious or whatever, I guess.”

“That’s unusual of you,” Tweek said. “I thought not giving a fuck was your golden rule.”

“It’s more of a guideline.”

“Alright, I guess the being drunk thing was more of a guideline too.” Tweek wrapped his fingers over his other hand’s wrist. His other hand’s fingertips held the neck of the bottle so gently that Craig felt like it could fall at any moment. Tweek kept his eyes down as he spoke. “So, what do you wanna know?”

“Well… everything.” In his head, Craig arranged his questions in order of importance. When he figured his biggest question, he asked, “Where did your parents go?”

“Oh, man…” Tweek frowned at the ground several stories below them. “Oh well, I might as well tell you too.”

“ _Too_?” Craig tried to hide how much that simple word twinged his guts. “You told someone other than me?”

Tweek took a deep breath. “Yeah, I told Kenny. Remember when he drove me somewhere a few days ago?” Craig nodded, and Tweek started fiddling with his sleeve. “I went to see my dad. He was arrested.”

“Are you serious?” Craig stared at Tweek. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Craig’s brain flatlined. He dug his thumb into his thigh again until the pain snapped him back. He tore his eyes away from Tweek and stared at his own hands. He looked back to Tweek and moved his hand towards him. It hovered close to Tweek’s shoulder, but he didn’t set it down until Tweek smiled and nodded, still looking away. Craig squeezed Tweek’s shoulder gently and tried to form a comforting smile. Tweek glanced at Craig, and tried to stifle a laugh.

“Wow, you are so bad at this,” Tweek said, unable to cover up his giggling.

“Hey, I’m trying at least.” Craig took his hand away. Maybe Tweek didn’t need comforting anyway. He seemed relaxed, which made Craig relax too. “So, why was he arrested?”

Tweek rubbed his jaw and frowned. “Look, it’s a long story and I’m getting cold. Can we go back inside?”

Craig could barely feel his toes and his lungs felt too small, but he shrugged and said, “It’s not that cold.”

“You’re shivering, Craig,” Tweek said, giving Craig a very judging look. He headed inside and glanced at Craig. Craig cursed silently and followed.

The warmth of the party was dull compared to the sting of fresh air outside. A group of people were sitting in a circle on the floor in the living room. Clyde was on the floor, with Bebe leaning on his shoulder. For a party dedicated to Token, Clyde sure was spending a lot of time glued to his ex-girlfriend. Token was sitting next to Clyde, looking fed up with the antics. He looked up to Craig and the two shared an eye roll.

Kenny perked up when he saw Craig and waved him down to sit in the circle. Craig’s middle finger was prepped, but Tweek decided to go and sit next to Kenny. The two looked at Craig like a pair of puppies at a pet store. Craig stifled the urge to groan. He squeezed himself between the two blonds. He scanned through the circle of drunks. Jimmy was sitting on the couch close to Stan. Next to Bebe was Wendy, who was next to Stan, both sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. Kyle sat next to Cartman, with a big gap between them. There were two girls who Craig couldn’t recognize. Clyde had probably invited them with Token, Kenny, or Craig in mind. His caveman-level of thoughtfulness was often left unappreciated by the receiving end, but he never seemed to notice.

“Never have I ever…” Clyde begun. Craig regretted sitting down. Clyde looked at Bebe. “…tried on women’s underwear.”

All the girls made varying degrees of annoyed groans and took a drink. Craig looked at Kenny, who took slight offence at Craig’s expectation, but it was Token who covered his face with one hand and took a drink with the other. Clyde’s mouth gaped.

Token shoved Clyde on the chest. “I did it as a joke once, okay?”

Clyde raised his hand in surrender. “Hey, I ain’t judging.”

Bebe giggled, and leaned back onto her arms. “Okay, my turn… Never have I ever cheated on a test.”

“That’s so boring,” Clyde said, and took a drink. Craig didn’t have his own drink, so he took a sip from Kenny’s. One of the unknown girls drank and so did Cartman.

“My turn,” Wendy said. She furrowed her brows. “Never have I ever… passed out.”

Almost everyone drank, except for Craig, Token, and Bebe. Tweek reached over to grab Kenny’s drink. He caught Craig’s eye.

“I swear it was because of a blood test,” Tweek whispered, and took a sip.

Stan whispered something to Wendy before clearing his throat. “Alright, never have I ever…” He covered his mouth briefly and screwed his eyes shut. “Hmmm, I’ve never done drugs.”

Clyde winked at Token and drank. Token rolled his eyes and drank too. Tweek fiddled with Kenny’s bottle, but withdrew his hand after a while. Kenny reached over and took it back. Tweek tilted his head and stared.

“What did you use?” he asked. Craig winced, and turned to study Kenny’s expression. His lips smiled, but his eyes were distant.

“Just weed,” he said, and took a sip. “Tried some back in South Park. Had a bad trip once and quit.” He laughed, albeit humorlessly. “Drugs are bad, m’kay.” Tweek laughed, too.

Craig studied Kenny’s face. The face of an excellent liar. It was so convincing, even Craig almost bought it. If he didn’t know the real story, he wouldn’t even notice the distant sadness in Kenny’s eyes. But he knew what to look for, because he had seen it before. Maybe Kenny had tried weed too, but Craig knew what Kenny was really thinking of.

The real story was etched into Craig’s mind. He couldn’t forget the shaking voice and blank face that Kenny had recounting the story shortly after he had moved to Denver. Clyde had wanted to hold a housewarming party for Kenny, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Craig was drunk and lost, his head thumping from the loud music and chatter. Kenny dragged him into his new room, which had been even more barren back then. They sat on the bed and joked about Clyde, cursing the party which was clearly meant for Clyde himself and not Kenny. The joking died down and the alcohol started talking.

Craig complained about Tweek, Kenny complained about his parents. Craig complained about Token leaving, Kenny worried about Karen. Craig leaned back against the wall, Kenny leaned on Craig’s shoulder. They sat in silence. It was a silence heavy silence that could only be broken with something even heavier. Kenny took a deep breath.

When Kenny was 15, he tried meth for the first time. He had been feeling down when he had realized that none of his friends really cared about him. He still hung out with Stan, Kyle, and Cartman at school, but he stayed quiet and went straight home when school ended. At home, he comforted Karen as she cried about her classmates saying she had old, ugly, smelly clothes. He dug out twenty dollars from his piggybank and bought Karen a new shirt. Karen hugged him, thanked him, smiled. The next day she went to school with her chest puffed out and head held high. Kenny went to school without lunch.

When he came back home, the house was empty. The fridge was empty. The kitchen cabinets were empty. Except one. Kenny opened the one atop the fridge and saw a bag of white crystals. He had seen his older brother take a few sometimes when their parents weren’t home. He seemed happier those days. Kenny scooped some onto his hand and went in his room. After sitting and staring at the crystals for what he said felt like hours, he put them on his night stand and crushed them. It stung, he said to Craig, as it went up his nose. But it was worth it. Everything was wonderful. For a moment.

He kept doing it. He needed more. Months flew by, his need increased. His dad found out and kicked him on the street. He suffered withdrawal. He made new friends. They sold him more. He couldn’t remember when he last slept. He hadn’t been to school in weeks, maybe months. His heart pounded. His brain screamed for more. He never stayed on the same couch for longer than a week. People looked at him with pity as they dropped a few coins into his cup. When he was starving, he used the money on more drugs because it dulled the feeling. The calendar said it had been almost two years. Kenny couldn’t remember. On Karen’s 13th birthday, she was scared of him. It broke his heart, but he couldn’t quit. He needed more. On her 13th birthday, he needed too much.

His heart was beating in his ears, trying to claw its way out of his chest. He sat down on the wet ground in an alleyway. Cold sweat ran down his face and he felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen no matter how much he tried to breathe. His heart pounded, skipped, and pounded again. He was starting to panic, and he gasped for air. His lungs filled, but his body begged for more. His chest had a pressure in it, which grew with every breath. His jaw and arm went numb. His vision was blurry, and a darkness at the edges was creeping up on him. His heart skipped again, and his pain exploded. It radiated everywhere, and all Kenny could see was Karen, terrified of her own brother. Kenny slumped back, and gave up. On her 13th birthday, the world came to an end.

Craig had looked at Kenny when the silence stretched between the two. Kenny’s face was blank, but there were tears on his cheeks. Craig asked who found him and called the ambulance, but Kenny just shook his head. He said he had discovered his calling in that moment as he lay there, dying. He wanted to help others who ended up like him. He said he had lied when he applied for the EMT training. Nobody in his life knew about his overdose, and few knew he had even been using. Craig asked how there was no record of the overdose at the hospital that had treated him, but Kenny just smiled with empty eyes.

A silence fell on them again. Craig stared at the wall, trying to get his head around everything. He looked at Kenny, and his chest stung. Kenny shifted against Craig, and looked up into his eyes. The heaviness in the air made Craig feel like he was falling. They were so close to each other, so exposed. Craig had a flood of words stuck in his throat. Kenny’s eyes were tinted red, and his blond hair was messy. On his face, an expression lingered. An invitation. Craig leaned in, and closed his eyes. He had almost closed the distance, when a flood of light and sound erupted in the room as Clyde slammed the door open. All three froze. Craig realized his hand was on Kenny’s thigh, and he flinched away. Clyde stared. The moment was shattered, and Craig stayed in his room for the rest of the day. They never talked about it.

“Craig?”

Craig snapped back when Tweek touched his shoulder. The people in the circle stared at him. His eyes felt too slow as he scanned through the crowd.

“It’s your turn, Cinderella,” Clyde said.

“How drunk are you, Clyde?” Kenny asked. “It’s Sleeping Beauty!”

“More like Sleeping Ugly, am I right?” Clyde said and turned to Token for a high-five. Token sighed and shook his head, but high-fived Clyde anyway.

Craig took a deep breath and tried to focus his eyes. “Okay, let’s get this over with. I’ve never fingered a toddler.”

Kenny roared in laughter, with Clyde following suit. Token managed to somehow laugh and be disappointed at the same time. Jimmy grinned. Tweek covered his smile. Almost everyone seemed amused, except for Kyle, who was whispering something to Stan with a frown, and Stan, who looked absent.

“Dude!” Clyde managed to say. “You’re playing this wrong.”

“You’re lucky I’m playing at all.”

“Well, looks like nobody’s a child rapist in here.” Clyde held out his new beer can, which was still unopened. “Now you gotta chug this.”

“Really?” Craig reached for the can a few times before managing to grab it. “Are you just making up rules?”

“My party, my rules.” Clyde smiled smugly. “Now chug.”

Craig shrugged. He brought the can to his lips and threw his head back. The faint taste of beer barely registered on his tongue. His head was buzzing. Clyde cheered as the last drop disappeared.

“Happy?” Craig threw the empty can and it almost hit Stan, who was looking a bit pale. Clyde gave a thumbs-up, and gestured at Kenny to keep going.

“Let me show you how it’s really done,” Kenny said, and smirked at Craig. “Never have I ever finished high-school.”

Everyone drank, except for Stan. Kyle nudged him, but Stan just covered his mouth and shook his head. Wendy leaned to him and asked if he’s feeling okay, but received no response. Stan took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch. He cleared his throat and motioned for Token to go ahead. Token hesitated before continuing the game.

“Okay, never have I ever…” Token begun, but stopped when Stan made a retching sound.

Jimmy started inching away. “Stan, a-are you—"

Stan turned around and puked all over the couch. Clyde, Kenny, and Token all shrieked, Jimmy almost fell off the couch trying to get away, Bebe screamed and ran to the other side of the room, Cartman laughed, Kyle looked concerned, Wendy held a hand on Stan’s back, the two unknown girls scurried away in disgust, Tweek sighed, and Craig wondered where Tweek would sleep now.

“Dude!” Clyde screamed. “You did not just do that!”

Stan sputtered something that sounded like _sorry_. Wendy grabbed him and led him to the bathroom with hurry as Stan started retching again. Cartman laughed even harder. Craig glared at Kenny, who threw his hands up and mouthed _what_.

“You know exactly wh—” Craig stopped when Tweek grabbed his arm and dragged him to the kitchen. Craig stuttered wordlessly, but Tweek silenced him with a pointed look.

“You’re drunk,” he said. “Please don’t start fighting with your friend.”

“But he invited those fucking—"

“Oh my God, why does that matter?” Tweek ran both hands through his hair. “I am begging you to shut up about it.”

“I _am_ shutting up about it.” Craig waved his hand in the air. “He’s just being a bitch about this.”

“No, he really isn’t.” Tweek took a deep breath and paused. He put both hands on Craig’s shoulders and caught his eye. “Craig, if there’s something between the two of you, I think you need to talk about it with him.”

“What?” Craig’s voice went higher than he intended. “Me and Kenny, there’s not— I’m not even… I don’t even care.”

“You’re not very convincing.” Tweek held eye contact until Craig had to look away. “Please make up with him.”

“You serious? I’d never make out with—”

“Make _up_.” Tweek shook his head and brushed some hair away from Craig’s forehead. “Please.”

Craig’s throat tightened, and he croaked out, “Yeah, okay.”

“Good.” Tweek smiled and stepped back. Craig almost leaned forward to compensate, but caught himself at the last second. His head felt like it was still falling forward, so Craig tried to lean back more, causing him to stumble. He grabbed the wall next to Tweek’s head to balance himself. Tweek shook his head gently. “You can’t hold your beer at all, man.”

“Whatever,” Craig said, avoiding all eye contact. “Let’s deal with barf couch.”

Tweek nodded and placed a hand on Craig’s back, guiding them back to the living room. Craig flinched at the sudden contact, but didn’t say anything. People were slowly trickling towards the front door, leaving the party with hurry. Among the group was Cartman, and Craig took the chance to flip him off, receiving an angry ‘ _ey!’_ in return.

The couch was surrounded by perplexed young adults, all debating what to do. Of course, Kenny had disappeared once again. When Clyde noticed Craig, he threw his hands in the air.

“What are we gonna do?” he asked, gesturing wildly at the couch. “Shit’s ruined.”

Craig shrugged and looked around for someone with more domestic sensibility. He made eye-contact with Bebe, who pursed her lips.

“Wendy’s gonna deal with it.” She gestured at the bathroom. “After she gets Stan out of there.”

Kyle went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Dude? You okay?”

“He’s better now,” Wendy answered. The door opened, and she peeked out. “Can you drive him back to my place?”

“Of course.” Kyle stepped back and gave Stan space to drag himself out of the bathroom. He wasn’t as pale as before, but his steps were wobbly. Kyle guided Stan to the front door and said his goodbyes as the two put on their coats with varying success.

Tweek nudged Craig’s arm and gestured towards Kenny’s closed bedroom door. Craig stifled a groan, and walked to the door with Tweek following close behind. Before he could reach for the door handle, the door flew open, revealing Kenny holding a blanket and a pillow. He stared at Craig for a few seconds too long, until Tweek stepped forward and grabbed the bedclothes from Kenny’s hands.

“Thanks,” Tweek said. “I’m just gonna go and ask Clyde where I can sleep.” He gave Craig a look that Craig chose not to interpret. Craig stared after Tweek before turning back to Kenny. Kenny looked back at him, but his eyes were focused on something else, making Craig shift on his feet. Kenny stepped back into his room and began shutting the door, but Craig stopped him and squeezed past Kenny. Kenny stared at Craig for a moment before shutting the door, leaving the two of them alone in an uncomfortably familiar environment.

“So, are you gonna blame me for the couch?” Kenny’s eyes turned cold and he crossed his arms.

“Depends.” The buzzing in Craig’s head was fading away. “Was it all a petty revenge for something?”

“How is it petty to wanna hang out with my dear friends?”

“Stan and Kyle maybe, but Cartman isn’t dear to anyone.”

“Yeah, probably not.” Kenny leaned back against a wall. “But pity can go a long way.”

“Don’t tell me you invited him out of _pity_.” Craig took a step closer. Kenny remained still. “Just tell me why you were mad at me.”

“Why isn’t everyone mad at you?” Kenny raised his eyebrow as if he had presented the most piercing question known to mankind. “You’re a self-proclaimed dick, Craig.”

“Some people like dick.”

Kenny smirked, and stepped closer. “I only like the pretty ones.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“It’s working so far.”

Craig groaned and leaned over the shorter man. He thought back to how Tweek had convinced him to do this in the first place. He placed one hand on Kenny’s shoulder, pushing a bit harder than he meant to. “Just tell me.”

Kenny looked down at Craig’s hand. “Careful. I’m really not in the mood for being roughed up.”

Craig let his hand slide down Kenny’s arm before pulling it away. “Yeah, I’m not enjoying this foreplay either. Just get to the good part.”

A corner of Kenny’s mouth quirked up. “I really wish you meant that.”

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”

“Why ruin the moment?”

Craig shook his head slowly. “You ruin every moment.”

“Me?” Kenny stepped even closer. “Well, as a handsome man once said, _I think you’re projecting_.”

“Don’t get too excited.” Craig pressed his hand against Kenny’s chest and gently pushed him, until his back hit the wall. “Just tell me why you’re being so difficult about this.”

“You know,” Kenny murmured, looking Craig up and down. “You’re way too attractive to be intimidating.”

Craig’s mouth felt dry and his face warmed up. He tried to yank his hand away, but Kenny grabbed it, along with Craig’s other hand. They stood like that for far too long before Craig snapped out of it and let go of Kenny’s hands. He still stood to close, but he couldn’t find it in himself to move. Kenny smiled.

“You’re so cute when you’re nervous.”

“What? No, it’s—  I’m not…” Craig’s eyes slipped down to Kenny’s collarbone, which was peeking underneath the half-zipped hoodie. “…not nervous.”

Kenny smirked. He stood up straight, his face too close to Craig’s, a faint smell of cherry in his breath. His hands slinked to Craig’s hips. “Come on, Craig,” Kenny murmured, “you can’t deny you want this.”

“What are you doing?” Craig asked, even though he knew the answer. Kenny’s hands gripped his hips lightly. Craig’s chest tightened. “Kenny, you know I’m not g—”

“Gay?” Kenny’s gaze lingered on Craig’s lips. “Me neither.”

Back when Kenny had moved in, Craig didn’t find him particularly handsome. Not ugly either. Now, staring down at Kenny’s face in the limited light, Craig realized he had slowly started regarding Kenny as attractive. It wasn’t the alcohol or the dim lighting. It was familiarity that had smoothed the jagged lines of Kenny’s face. It was the closeness that had grown between them, that made him more fuckable with each passing day. Right now, with the messy blonde hair, his half-lidded eyes, and the layer of pink on his cheeks, he was extremely fuckable.

“You seem pretty gay right now.” Craig put his hand down on Kenny’s chest, gently pushing away, but the grip on his hips tightened. Craig silently cursed his weak resolve, and let Kenny pull his hips forward.

“I’m not.” Kenny moved closer. “I’m actually very selective with my gayness.”

“Selective? You flirt with everyone.” Craig could recount dozens of times when Kenny had hit on him. “And you’re trying to fuck me right now. How’s that selective?”

“You really think I’m flirty with everyone?” Kenny leaned closer. “It’s only you, dummy.” Kenny’s hand drifted underneath Craig’s shirt, settling on the waist. Craig froze as Kenny’s face came closer and dipped down to Craig’s neck. Craig’s breath hitched, and he gripped the collar of Kenny’s hoodie. Craig felt the vibration when Kenny spoke again. “Say stop and I’ll stop.”

Craig’s words were stuck in his throat. He slid his hand to Kenny’s neck, lifting his chin. Kenny’s eyes held a silent invitation. Craig waited, expecting someone to burst through the door and stop them. Nobody came. Craig pulled Kenny even closer, his thumb still underneath Kenny’s jaw. For endless seconds, they stood barely inches apart. Craig took a step closer, pinning Kenny’s hips against the wall, while Kenny’s hands crept up Craig’s back, fingers gliding against skin. Craig felt a breath on his lips. He closed his eyes, and brought Kenny’s face to his.

Craig captured Kenny’s lower lip with his own, and Kenny grabbed Craig’s back, pulling them into an embrace. With a gasp, Craig tilted his head, and felt Kenny’s tongue. He moved his hands to grip the blond hair, pulling their lips closer together. The taste of cherry filled Craig’s mouth. Kenny’s hands wandered lower, until they reached Craig’s ass. He pulled Craig closer, grinding their hips together. A shiver travelled through Craig’s spine up to his neck.

Their mouths parted, and Craig gasped for air. He opened his eyes to see a hazy image of Kenny inches away from him. His smile was soft, and his eyes were dark. He grabbed Craig’s hands and led him to the bed. Kenny pushed Craig down and climbed on him, sitting on Craig’s hips. Craig grabbed Kenny’s waist and pulled him down to a kiss. Kenny’s hands creeped up to Craig’s collar, and unzipped his hoodie. Craig tried to slip his arms out while occupied by Kenny’s mouth. After multiple tries, he grunted, and sat up to throw away his hoodie and underlying shirt. Kenny brought their lips back together, and nibbled on Craig’s lower lip. Craig moaned as he fell back down, dragging Kenny with him. Kenny’s hands slid across Craig’s chest, making Craig lift his hips and grind against the pressure. Kenny let out a moan mixed with a laugh, vibrating against Craig’s lips.

Craig fumbled for the zipper of Kenny’s hoodie, and unzipped it. The orange cloth came off with ease. Craig slipped his hands up Kenny’s T-shirt, and pulled it over his head, only leaving Kenny’s lips at the last moment. Kenny sat up, scanning Craig’s body. Craig shivered. He let his eyes slip down to Kenny’s figure, devouring it. The small curve at the waist, the definition of the chest, the barely visible hipbones. Perhaps Kenny had the right idea. Selectively gay.

Kenny dipped back down to Craig’s neck, kissing a trail up to the ear. Craig craned his neck, exposing more of himself to Kenny. He roamed Kenny’s bare back with his hands, feeling the muscle and bone, sliding against smooth skin. Kenny’s lips captured skin at the base of the neck, teeth scraping against the sensitive area. Craig twitched, half from the sensation, half from the worry of a mark on his neck. He pushed Kenny away.

“No biting.” Craig’s voice came out hoarse. “No marks.”

“Shame.”

Kenny shifted down to Craig’s thighs, his hands sliding across Craig’s chest down to the hem of his pants. With one hand he held Craig’s hip, while his other hand ghosted above the zipper of Craig’s jeans. Kenny brushed his thumb down, making Craig jerk against the motion. Craig leaned back, his hips lifting from the bed, begging for Kenny to continue. He closed his eyes, letting his other senses take over. He smelled sweat, tasted the lingering cherry on his tongue, heard Kenny’s deep breathing, felt hands on him. Hands travelling down, slowly zipping Craig’s pants open. The buzzing in Craig’s head became fainter as the reality of the situation slowly became clearer. He felt tugging at his hips, and opened his eyes to see Kenny pulling his pants down, his face almost touching Craig’s dick through his underwear. Craig shot up, and grabbed Kenny’s hands.

“No way.” Craig moved Kenny’s hands away. “Too far.”

“What?” Kenny’s voice was slightly too loud, and Craig felt cold sweat from the thought of being caught. Kenny frowned. “Are you serious?”

“I’m not doing this.” Craig shifted away and slipped his jeans back up. He zipped up and looked for his shirt.

“Oh, please.” Kenny slumped on the bed, leaning his back against the wall. “I’m not trying to stick my fingers up your ass or anything.”

“Fucking Christ, Kenny.” Craig slipped his shirt back on. “That’s disgusting.”

“What did you think this was?” Kenny crossed his arms. “Just a little hump and dump?”

“No.” Craig stood up, and picked his hoodie up from the floor. He dusted it off, and slipped back into it. He touched his neck, trying to determine if Kenny left a hickey. “I don’t fucking know.”

“That’s great.” Kenny’s face was still flushed, and his legs were spread. He made no effort to cover himself up. “I’m glad we went this far before you got cold feet.”

Craig stared at Kenny’s bare chest as it rose and fell. His blood was still rushing, and his body screamed to finish what they had started. He tried to ignore the pulsing sound in his ears and feeling in his pants. He zipped his hoodie higher up than he usually would. “It’s just… too weird.”

The room was still. Craig stood in silence, not knowing where to go. Kenny looked up at Craig, his eyes seeking something. Craig looked away. Kenny sighed and buried his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

Craig blinked. Kenny’s breath tightened. His muscles stiffened, and he sighed, his breath shaking. Craig couldn’t decide if he should run away or sit down and hold Kenny. He looked around and saw Kenny’s clothes scattered on the floor, so he picked them up and set them down on the bed. Kenny took a deep breath and grabbed the clothes, his other hand still covering his eyes. Craig stood still, while the silence stretched.

“Shit...” Craig took a small step back. “You’re not crying, are you?”

“No, I’m just...” Kenny’s voice cracked. He wiped his face with his shirt. “You really are an asshole.”

“Oh, come on, I didn’t—” Craig squeezed his mouth shut and searched for his next words carefully. “We’re just drunk, okay? This didn’t mean anything.”

“Do you really believe that?” Kenny reached out to Craig, who jumped back, leaving the hand reaching for air. Kenny sighed. “You don’t have to put a label on yourself just because of this. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“It isn’t a big deal. I don’t need a label. Maybe _you_ need one. You started this. You think you’re _selectively gay_ or whatever, but maybe you just can’t admit to yourself that you’re… you’re…”

“I’m bi.” Kenny’s smile was a touch too condescending. “Trust me, it gets easier when you admit it to yourself.”

“I don’t need to admit anything.” Craig stormed to the door and opened it with more force than he intended. He hesitated before stepping out.

“Well… I’ll always be there if you change your mind.” Kenny laughed humorlessly. His voice was barely audible, when he said, “…like the sad piece of shit I am.”

Craig tore his eyes away from Kenny’s bare chest. “Don’t count on it.”

“I’d say you’re breaking my heart, but…”

“Sorry, man.” Craig shut the door almost all the way, and peeked back in the room. Kenny let out a small breath and crashed down onto his bed. He ran his hands over his face, and Craig could almost swear he heard a tiny sob. He turned away and closed the door. The living room was dark and empty. He heard Clyde and Bebe talking behind Clyde’s closed door. Craig snuck into the bathroom to compose himself. He locked the door and turned on the light.

He looked at himself in the small bathroom mirror to discover his cheeks burning red and his hair pointing in every direction. He craned his neck. No marks. His eyes wouldn’t focus. He turned the faucet and splashed water on his face, then smoothed out his hair. He stood for a moment, staring at himself in the mirror. The room spun ever so slightly. The fluorescent light bouncing off the white tile walls burned Craig’s eyes. Craig sat down underneath the showerhead and leaned against the cold wall. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing.

Craig mind kept rewinding the past half an hour no matter how much he tried to think of something else. He could see Kenny’s face, clear as crystal, close enough to count each eyelash. Craig screwed his eyes shut tighter. He didn’t need this on top of everything with Tweek. Craig wasn’t the type to have an internal crisis. Everybody knew him as the level-headed and logical foil to Clyde. He liked being that. He didn’t want to be complicated.

After what seemed like both mere seconds and endless hours, Craig got back on his feet. He took a deep breath and stepped back in the living room. It wasn’t empty anymore. Wendy was picking up the couch covers into a large black plastic bag. Craig tried to sneak by unseen, but Wendy turned around before he took even one full step.

“Oh, hey, I’m just waiting for Bebe” Wendy said, still collecting dirty pieces of the couch. “We’re taking these back to our place to wash them.”

“Cool, whatever.” Craig shifted on his feet. The door to his room was so close. If only social norms allowed dashing for the door.

“I’m sorry about Stan.” Wendy looked at the stripped couch. “I promised him I wouldn’t let him drink that much.”

“I really don’t care right now.”

Wendy looked concerned. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Craig looked down at his feet.

“Hmm. Bebe and I are going to this one coffee place tomorrow.” She tried to catch Craig’s eye. “Maybe you should come too.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Craig took the chance to disengage, and he strode to his room. He heard the plastic rustle as Wendy continued picking up the puke-covered cloth. Craig opened his door, fully intending to dive in his bed and fall asleep immediately. He paused at the doorway. Tweek was sitting on the bed, wearing only a white T-shirt and green underwear. He started taking off the shirt, and Craig slammed the door closed harder than he meant to. Tweek looked up at the noise. He smiled when he met Craig’s eyes.

“I hope you don’t mind.” Tweek continued taking off his shirt. Craig turned away, feeling his blood rush again. “Clyde said your bed is the biggest.”

Craig wondered if he could sleep one night on the streets without catching pneumonia. He peeked at Tweek, who had gotten comfortable under Craig’s cover. He was lying close to the edge, giving Craig enough space to lie down too.

“It’s fine,” Craig said. Clyde would pay for this. Craig turned off the light to obscure his face, which he worried was still completely red. He cursed the whole world in his mind. If only time travel was real, Craig would’ve taken Stan away the second he started looking sick, and he would’ve avoided Kenny like the gay plague he was.

“Aren’t you gonna lie down?” Tweek asked, shuffling under the cover. “There’s a second blanket on your desk.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Craig looked around in the dark. He could barely see a thing. A small beam of moonlight shone through the curtains of the window. Craig walked toward it, carefully feeling around him as he made his way. He opened the curtain, letting the faint light illuminate the room. He looked back at Tweek, expecting him to be looking away, but Tweek was looking at him. Craig heart skipped and he turned back to the window. Why couldn’t Kenny have been into Clyde instead? Now Craig had to live with all these doubts that he didn’t need in his life.

“Are you okay?” Tweek asked. “You seem… upset.”

Craig grabbed the cover from the desk. It was the same one Kenny had been holding earlier. “I drank too much. I’m really drunk.”

“You should know you can’t lie to me.”

Craig frowned. He threw the cover on the bed, and hesitated. “It’s half-true.”

Tweek scoffed, and closed his eyes. “I trusted you with my coffee shop murder mystery, but you don’t trust me?”

“I do.” Craig took off his hoodie and shirt for the second time that day and threw them on the ground next to the bed. He made sure Tweek’s eyes were still closed before slipping out of his jeans. “But… I’m still processing this.”

“I can relate.”

Craig sat at the edge of the bed. He hadn’t shared a bed with Tweek for years now. It still felt familiar. Like it should be normal. An everyday thing. Craig ran his hands through his hair. He lay down on the bed and pulled his cover over himself. He heard Tweek shuffle next to him and turn around to face Craig.

“Did you talk to Kenny?” Tweek’s voice was barely audible. Craig turned to look at him.

“I guess.”

“You guess?” Tweek looked ethereal, his face lit only by moonlight. A bit of Tweek’s shoulder was exposed under the cover and Craig noticed there were tiny freckles all over them. “So, is everything okay, then?”

Craig looked away. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

A short silence followed, before Tweek spoke again. “I don’t really believe you.”

“I’m really tired now, okay?” Craig shut his eyes. “Let’s just sleep.”

Tweek sighed. “Okay. Sleep well.”

Craig’s entire body felt like it was vibrating, and his thoughts wouldn’t stop flowing. He turned his back to Tweek. “You too.”

He didn’t sleep well.

**Author's Note:**

> I would appreciate help noticing any grammatical errors, since English isn't my native language. Any kind of feedback is much appreciated, especially criticism!


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